Want You Bad
by MaggyStar17
Summary: AU: Balthazar was adopted when he was about two years old. His family was great; he loved his parents and his little brother. But the way he stared loving Castiel... It was wrong. So when he was 16, Balthazar left home. It was hard, but managed to stay away as much as possible for three years. Then he met Castiel again. (Warning for incest.)
1. Happy Birthday

** Want You Bad**

Chapter 1: Happy Birthday

Balthazar stopped the car. He got out and walked into the park in the centre of the town. It was a busy park; a lot of people passed by, but in that hour of the night the park was desert. Balthazar went to the usual place, to the lake that in the winter was usually frozen, close to a streetlight. He put his hands on the cold metallic grating around the lake and sighed, lowering his head a little. Looking down at the calm dark water in the lake, he wondered what he was doing there. Waiting for someone who might not come? He shook his head, realising what an idiot he was.

But if there was someone who was worth waiting for, it was Castiel; his little brother. Well, Castiel wasn't truly his brother. Balthazar was adopted; Castiel's parents had adopted him when he was young, and despite they weren't the same blood, he and Castiel were raised like brothers and he and his parents were his family.

Balthazar turned around; he looked at the trees moving with the wind around him. Then he trembled a little, he told himself it was from the cold, but the truth was that he was anxious. Anxious to see his brother again, after such a long time without seeing him. Balthazar had left the house of his parents when he was sixteen; then he found a small job and was living in a crappy apartment with other two guys... But it didn't matter, he didn't regret the choice he made and he didn't complain about the life he had. But since he left home, he rarely saw his family; his parents, he never saw them again. Sometimes they called him to know if he was alright or if he needed something. Castiel, he only saw him two or three times a year, on special occasions.

Today was a special occasion; Castiel turned seventeen and Balthazar was waiting for him in the place they usually met. Balthazar didn't like to stay away from his family, the separation had been terribly painful, but he told himself it was for a good reason. Now, after three years, the constant pain was just a part of him.

Balthazar looked at his watch and it was almost midnight. He leaned against the grating, tugged his scarf and waited, most of the time looking at the ground. At one of the occasions he lifted his head, he saw a human shape approaching. Staring at the dark shape as it came closer, Balthazar recognized it when it was near him that it was his brother. Castiel was wearing tight jeans and a blue sweater, the same colour of his eyes. Balthazar couldn't see his eyes properly, but he still remembered the beautiful deep blue eyes of his brother.

"Balthazar," Castiel greeted him with a small smile, but his eyes were sad. It could be from the dark night, but it seemed like his vivid blue eyes had lost its colour. Balthazar shouldn't be surprised about it, every time they met Castiel had that sad face, although he used to be a gleeful kid. But that was before. Before leaving; before leaving him.

"Hey," Balthazar greeted him back. "Happy birthday, Cas" he said with a true smile, despite the mixed feelings troubling him all the time, especially when he was close to his brother.

"Uh, thanks," Castiel replied as if he had forgotten about his birthday, or perhaps he wasn't expecting Balthazar to mention it.

"I thought you weren't coming." There was a slight tone of sadness in Balthazar's voice, that only who knew him well would notice... and Castiel knew him well. But then again, he hadn't talked with his brother to tell him he'd be there. In fact none of them knew if the other would appear, but they went anyway, guided by faith. "I thought maybe you were at a party." That would be natural, since it was Castiel's birthday.

"I was," Castiel admitted, with arms crossed in a shy position. "My friends prepared me a party." Castiel didn't have many friends, but the ones he had, were some good friends.

"Then you should be enjoying it," Balthazar said after a while. "I mean, what's a birthday party without the birthday boy?" He didn't what his brother to think he was asking him to leave, because Balthazar truly didn't want that. "I didn't even get you a present." He let out a small and weak chuckle. He knew Castiel didn't care for material things, but he still should have bought him something. But he didn't know he was coming until the last minute. Being around his brother was both pleasant and painful.

"There's no other place I'd rather be than here," Castiel confessed in a low and trembling voice as his eyes started to shine with the tears that were forming.

There was a moment of silence, and tension between them; Castiel's breathing became faster as he tried to hold back the tears. He was also trembling; he tried to fight the emotions but he couldn't, so he left the emotions guide him. Castiel came forward and hugged his older brother tightly. It surprised Balthazar, but his instincts were to immediately hold back his younger brother.

"I miss you," Castiel whispered against Balthazar's soft scarf that appeared under the half-open black leather jacket.

This wasn't new for Balthazar; in fact, he had heard those three words from Castiel every time they met. They smashed his heart every time. "I miss you too," Balthazar replied, trying to hide how true those words were, but failing completely. Perhaps he shouldn't have said them; but he didn't want Castiel to think he was insensible or that he didn't feel anything for him, because he did... more than he should. That was the problem.

Castiel was trembling, not from cold but from anger and sadness for not understanding why Balthazar left. And yet, he was hugging the cause of his sad life. Sometimes he wondered why Balthazar did that, but if his brother had the ability of turning his life miserable, he was also the one who could comfort him. Even if it was only for a short time, Castiel would take it.

Balthazar gently rubbed his brother's back, feeling Castiel's body relax a little against his. With eyes closed Balthazar felt the smell of his young brother; it was perhaps a mix of shower gel, shampoo, perfume and something else. Balthazar didn't know what it was for sure, he only knew it felt like... home. In the meanwhile Balthazar kept caressing his brother, the slim body slightly muscled. Castiel had changed since he left; every time Balthazar saw him he was different, his little brother was becoming a man... a handsome man.

Castiel's scent blinded him and his body hypnotised him. Without noticing, Balthazar was sliding a hand to Castiel's lower back, memorizing every curve of his body. Then he reached the tight jeans where the image of Castiel's butt started to take form in his mind. _No!_ That was when Balthazar snapped out of the ecstasy feeling and realised what he was doing to his brother.

Balthazar stepped back, away from Castiel's embrace, leaving the teenager perplexed by the sudden movement. They kept staring at each other for a moment, but they didn't say anything; Balthazar didn't give him an explanation and Castiel didn't demand it. It hadn't been the first time Balthazar had acted weird with him. Castiel didn't know the reason of it, but he was sure his brother didn't want to talk about it.

Balthazar just turned to lake, in shame, and grabbed the grating tight, hating himself. Why did he keep doing that? He remembered when he was still living in the house with his family. Every time Castiel came to him with a smile on his lips, it warmed Balthazar's heart. It was good. But when Castiel sneaked into his bed during the night and snuggled to him, or when Castiel got out of the shower, hot and wet, with only a towel around his waist... It was just _too_ much.

Castiel didn't understand his brother's reaction, and for a moment, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to leave or not. But Castiel didn't want to leave; not yet, and if it was up to him, he'd never leave. So he joined his brother, gazing at peaceful waves that the waterspout created in the lake.

They stood like that for while, in silence, looking at the water plants moving with the wind, but without really seeing them, because they were both lost in their thoughts... and feelings. Castiel didn't know what to do; he wanted to know the reason of Balthazar's behaviour, why he left, but he knew they'd probably end up arguing, because Balthazar just wouldn't tell him. He'd avoid the subject like he did when Castiel asked him before, and Castiel didn't want to spend the few time with his brother arguing. So he just kept quiet.

He kept quiet until a certain time. "Balthazar..." He broke the silence with the sweet voice Balthazar secretly adored. "I have to tell you something."

Balthazar turned to him, giving his full attention and waited. After a couple of seconds Castiel said softly "I love you."

Balthazar was surprised at first, but then, Castiel couldn't have said it in the way he was thinking about, because it came out so naturally of his lips. Perhaps Castiel was insecure about their familiar relationship because of the long time they were away from each other, but to Balthazar the separation hadn't changed anything between them. Absolutely nothing. "Cassie, you know you will always be my brother," he replied, showing a little fond smile.

"No. I mean I love you more than just a brother," Castiel interrupted him in a serious tone.

Balthazar froze. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do, because... he felt the same way. But he couldn't... They couldn't... They were brothers. "Cas..." It was all Balthazar managed to say after a while, even without knowing how to finish the sentence.

Fortunate or unfortunately he didn't have to because Castiel interrupted him again. "And don't say that I'm just a kid, that I don't know love, because I do know love! I know how it hurts! I know the constant hole you can't fill... that you hope it disappears, but it doesn't." Castiel's voice was angry at the beginning but he ended in a soft and desperate tone.

After another moment in silence, while Balthazar absorbed all the emotive words, he asked "Why are you telling me this?" Balthazar wanted to know if Castiel had built up any hope or what Castiel was expecting from him.

"Because... I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell someone. And you were the one who made sense I tell." Castiel knew Balthazar well, trusted him with his life, and he had always been Castiel's confident. "I told you how I feel... Now it's your turn. What do you feel about me?" Castiel was always direct, but this time Balthazar noticed some tension, but also hope.

"Cas.." Balthazar said, shaking his head. He couldn't tell him.

"Tell me, Balthazar. Tell me the truth." Castiel insisted, taking a step forward, always with eyes locked in Balthazar's, begging for an answer.

Just like in any other situation Balthazar couldn't lie to Castiel, he just couldn't. Balthazar passed a hand through his blond hair and sighed. "The truth is... I love you too... in the same way." He looked away for a second and then looked back at Castiel. "I have loved you for some time... but I shouldn't."

Castiel was glad for the confession of love, but as Balthazar wasn't happy about it, he asked "Is that why you left?"

As always, Castiel was smart and sometimes it seemed like he could read Balthazar's mind, so it was no surprise Castiel had figured it out. "I couldn't be around you," Balthazar explained, looking down. "There was always conflict in my twisted mind."

"So you lied to me," Castiel said and Balthazar lifted immediately his head, because he had _never_ lied to him. "You said you hadn't left home because of me."

"The problem wasn't you, it was me! I ceased to see you as my brother and started to see you as a beautiful boy I wanted to lay my hands on!" Balthazar said sharply and Castiel blushed at the careless choice of words.

But Castiel still said "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"You were fourteen." That was Castiel's age when Balthazar left. "I couldn't tell you. You wouldn't understand," Balthazar explained.

Castiel agreed that maybe Balthazar was right, maybe he was too young at the time. "Well, now I understand." Castiel came closer, his eyes full with hope.

At that moment Castiel's intension were clear. "Cas, we can't..." Balthazar said sadly for disappointing him and stepped back.

"You said you felt the same as I do." Castiel stepped closer again. "Then you know how miserable my life has been. The unbearable loneliness..." Castiel stopped when hot tears started burning his eyes. Without noticing, Balthazar nodded, knowing exactly what Castiel was talking about because his life had been like that too. "I can't keep living like this." Castiel whispered in a sad and desperate tone.

They were standing close; Castiel's shining blue eyes locked on his, the hot breath on Balthazar neck made him shiver, and the permanent desire began to win the rational part of Balthazar's mind. Unable to deny it any longer, Balthazar closed the space between them, kissing Castiel gently. When their lips met it seemed like their hearts exploded from the sudden flux of blood pumping fast from their hearts. Balthazar brought a hand to Castiel's face as he felt the sweet taste of Castiel's soft lips.

Castiel put his arms around Balthazar's neck, bringing their bodies closer, to touch in most places. The so long waited kiss got deeper and Castiel pressed his tongue to Balthazar's mouth.

Ignoring how good it felt, Balthazar broke the kiss for a moment. "Maybe..." his voice came out as a weak whisper. "Maybe we should take it slow," he said louder, still holding Castiel's jaw and caressing his cheek.

Castiel shook his head. "I've waited too long." He came closer to Balthazar again. "We've waited too long." He kissed Balthazar again, passionately. Their hot and wet tongues touched, sending warm waves from their bodies.

Balthazar ran his hands down Castiel's back as the desperate kiss continued. This time with no shame or guilt, only desire, Balthazar lowered his hand to Castiel's ass, squeezing it slightly, and making Castiel let out a small noise of pleasure.

For a brief moment their mouths unlocked from each other, while Balthazar lifted Castiel, sitting him on the grating, and Castiel put his legs around Balthazar's waist. Immediately the intense kiss restarted, in the new position, making them have a new sort of pleasant sensations. With the hands on Castiel's legs, pulling him as close as possible and Castiel grabbing his hair, Balthazar felt Castiel's erection against his abdomen.

After a short moment they broke the kiss in need of air, breathing fast against each other. When Castiel opened his eyes Balthazar noticed his eyes were darker, pupils fully dilated, and he saw how aroused his little brother looked, and unconsciously bit his bottom lip. In a moment of lucidity Balthazar realised it was too late to turn back or stop and leave Castiel like that. He had to do something about it; but where?

Before he could properly think about it, Castiel was already claiming his lips again. But Balthazar still managed to take Castiel to his grey van (a Citroën Berlingo) parked nearby. On the way Castiel didn't bother to ask where Balthazar was taking him. He only understood were they were when Balthazar pressed him against the cold back door of the small van. Then Balthazar put him down, he took the key out of his pocket and opened the back door. They got inside, above the old but clean dark blanket that covered the bottom of the trunk and closed the door.

The hot and wet kisses continued, as they were standing on their knees. Castiel started to taking off Balthazar's jacket, and after it, the scarf went off too. Trying to break the connection of their lips as little as possible, Balthazar took off Castiel sweater, and then his t-shirt too. Finally feeling Castiel's skin on his, Balthazar passed his hand on the sides of Castiel's torso, feeling the ribs on the way down to his waist as Balthazar kissed his neck. Castiel let out soft moans during the process.

The air around them was getting hot, so Balthazar took off his sweatshirt and threw it away. Soon after his pants, just like Castiel's, were off and intercalated with kisses and smooth touches, all their clothes were spread around them.

Balthazar sat against the side wall of the trunk with Castiel on his lap. Balthazar passed his hands all over Castiel, making him shiver and gasp in pleasure. Completely naked, every touch was like an addictive electric shock, especially in the sensitive spots. The small up and down rub of their cocks against their bellies made them moan, but Castiel moaned louder. Although it was cold outside, they were both sweating, with hot blood running fast through their bodies. Completely wrapped on each other, they still sought for more contact.

The session of gentle but intense kisses and sweaty touches didn't last long, and the love-making ended with an overwhelming sensation of heat, love and completeness. Castiel's body tensed as he reached the orgasm, letting out a moan while he supported himself with his hands on the cold wall of the truck. Balthazar came right after, grabbing Castiel's hips and probably leaving a mark of his nails on the soft clear skin.

For some time they didn't move, they were static, just trying to catch a breath. Castiel only moved when Balthazar grabbed his arms gently and pulled them down, and then he wrapped Castiel with his own arms. Castiel still shivered slightly; it was clear it had been the first time he had done something like that. After a few minutes in the tight embrace they lied down, Balthazar picked up a towel he had in the car and cleaned gently Castiel's still sensitive body from the white fluids, finishing with a kiss on Castiel's lips. Then, Balthazar covered him with a soft light green blanket he also had while he cleaned up himself. When he looked back at Castiel, the beautiful boy was already sleeping. Balthazar lied next to him, under the blanket.

Balthazar woke up with the sunlight on his face, coming from the small window of the truck. When he managed to open his eyes, he saw Castiel sleeping close to him, using Balthazar's arm as a pillow, and he felt Castiel's calm breathing on his chest. Balthazar stood staring at him, remembering last night. _What have I done?_ But before panic and guilt installed in himself, all his doubt and question were gone when he saw the peaceful blue eyes looking at him.

"Good morning," Castiel murmured with a sleepy voice, smiling at him.

Balthazar's heart settled down and melted with that smile. "Good morning, Cassie." He placed a gentle kiss on Castiel's forehead. But then Castiel reached for his lips, kissing him sweetly.

"What time is it?" Castiel asked, looking at the clear day outside the car.

"Late." Balthazar didn't have any watch or cell phone to see what time it was, but he was sure it was later than what he hoped it was.

Castiel sighed and snuggled closer to his older brother, if it was physically possible. It was late and he had to go home, but he didn't want to say goodbye to Balthazar.

Then they heard a muffled sound of a cell phone ringing. Castiel recognized it as the sound of his phone. He leaned away from Balthazar to search for it on the pile of clothes spread by the truck. Finally he found his jeans, he sat up and took the phone out of the jeans' pocket.

Balthazar saw Castiel staring worriedly at the still ringing phone. "Who is it?"

"Mom."

His mother should be concerned about him, obviously. He never spent the night out, not without warning his parents. _Oh, what am I going to tell her?_ Castiel thought, staring at the phone, trembling in his hand. _Should I pick it up?_

Fortunately Castiel didn't have to think much about it because the phone stopped ringing. Then he saw that he had 20 missed calls; it was mostly from his parents, but a few friends also called him.

"You have to go home," Balthazar told him. He didn't want Castiel to go, but he didn't want to cause him any more trouble that he had already caused. So Balthazar looked for his clothes and started to get dressed.

"Yes," Castiel agreed with a weak voice and he also began dressing himself.

"What are you going to say? To mom and dad?" Balthazar noticed the distressed look on Castiel's face.

"I..." He had no idea what he was going to say. He didn't like to lie to anyone, much less his parents, but he obviously couldn't tell them the truth.

Then his phone rang again. It was his friend Anna. He knew the red-haired girl since the first grade and she was his best friend. She must be worried about him too. Castiel had an idea and picked up the phone. "Anna..." he said.

"Cas. Thank God you're alive." She cut him off with a concerned but a bit relieved voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm alright." Anna didn't let his say anything else and started making more questions.

"Where are you?" She asked hurriedly. "One minute you were at the party, in the other no one knew about you."

"Yes, sorry, I had to leave," he tried to excuse himself without giving away much information.

"But I know you didn't go home. Where have you been?"

Castiel took a moment to answer. "I... I can't really tell you. Sorry, Anna."

"What do you mean you can't tell me?"

Castiel decided to ignore her question. "Look, I need to ask you a favour. If my mom calls you, can you tell her I spent the night at your house?"

"What?" She asked, confused.

"Please, Anna."

"No." She didn't sound very convincing and Castiel used that to his benefit.

"Just, please, tell her that, Anna." Castiel asked with that soft voice that no one could tell him 'no'.

There was a silence from the other side of the line. "Only if you tell me what happened last night," Anna countered.

Since Balthazar left, more that his friend, Anna became his confident. Castiel exhaled, defeated. "Alright," he agreed in a low voice.

"I mean it, Castiel. You have to tell me everything."

"Fine. I'll tell you."

"Okay," she said with a calm voice. "Then you've been here all night."

Castiel smiled. "Thanks, Anna."

"But you go right home," she ordered him.

"Yes, I'm going home right now."

"Alright. Then we'll talk later."

"Yes. Bye."

"Bye." She hung up.

Of course, Castiel wasn't going to tell her anything. Never. But more important than keeping the truth from Anna was keeping the truth from his parents and that had been assured. Anna... he was sure he would find a convincing story to tell her. He didn't like it, but the most important was to assure his mother that everything was alright and that nothing happened the previous night.

He noticed Balthazar staring at him, already clothed with the black jeans and the grey sweatshirt.

"What is it?" Castiel put on the blue sweater, finishing dressing himself.

"You. Lying through your teeth." Balthazar seemed surprised. "What happened to my sweet Cassie?" He liked to think that no one knew Castiel better than him, but there were moments where Castiel didn't look like his little brother.

Castiel smiled slightly at possessive pronoun, wondering if it was intentional or not, but he didn't comment. "He grew up." He sounded like it wasn't a good thing, but maybe it was the way he grew up that wasn't the best.

"I've noticed." Balthazar gave him a little smile as he passed by him and opened the back door of the trunk.

They jumped out the car and Castiel started wondering what was going to happen to him and Balthazar, to their relationship. Was Balthazar leaving again? Castiel closed the back door and walked to the side of the car. "Balthazar," he called.

Balthazar looked at him. "Yes, Cassie." He already knew what Castiel was going to say. When he started conversation that way, he knew it was serious. And in this case there what only one thing Castiel would talk about. Them.

Castiel took a step closer to Balthazar. "Come back home," he asked with a pleading look.

"Cas..." Balthazar didn't know what to say. He didn't want to leave Castiel again, he felt bad just thinking about it, but he wasn't sure about returning home. "It's complicated."

"No, it isn't," Castiel contradicted him. "You left because you felt bad for loving me. But now I want you to love me."

"Castiel, do you know what it means me returning home?" Just like Castiel had a characteristic way to start serious conversations, Balthazar also had one; it was starting with Castiel's full name. He rarely said it other circumstances. "Mom and dad won't approve our relationship. We'd have to hide it. From everyone." It would be hard to be around each other without really being together, except in securely private places.

Castiel didn't like when Balthazar was so serious. He rather the moments where they were laughing, joking around like they used to do. But on the other side, it was good to know what his Balthazar was thinking, after three years without understand him. "I don't care," he said, shaking his head quickly. "I need you." He grabbed Balthazar's sweatshirt with a desperate look, moving closer to him. Castiel's worst fear was being away from Balthazar again; they'd been far from each other for too long. As long as he had Balthazar by his side, all the other problems would be arranged.

Balthazar covered Castiel's hands with his own over his chest, grabbing them and replacing the cloth by his own hands. He nodded slowly, looking at Castiel's eyes as he enlaced their fingers; hands held high between their bodies. "Alright." He stretched down their arms, letting their hands rest by the line of their hips. "I just need a couple of days to solve a few things, and then I'll come back." Balthazar let go of one of Castiel and placed it on Castiel back as he came closer and kissed him gently.

"Promise?" Castiel asked in a warm whisper, brushing his nose to Balthazar's. He didn't doubt what Balthazar said, but one thing he knew was that Balthazar always kept his promises. So he made a promise to make sure Balthazar would return.

Balthazar smiled and brought his other hand to touch Castiel's cheek. "I promise, Cassie."

Castiel kissed him again, deeper and more passionate, with his arms around Balthazar's neck. Pressing against him, Balthazar made him take a few small steps back and soon he was trapped between Balthazar and his car. He put his arms on Castiel's waist and held him tight as their tongues moved together and Castiel slid his fingers through his blond hair.

They only stopped when they heard a surprised 'Oh!' that came from middle-aged woman who passed by. Fortunately it was no one they knew. But Castiel still felt uncomfortable and he hid his face on Balthazar's neck. He was glad the woman didn't say anything else and carried her way out of the park. Balthazar chuckled softly. It was strange; it had been a long time since he laughed that way. But it felt good to be happy again.

"You want me to take you home?" he asked to Castiel.

"No, you don't have to. It isn't too far." Besides, someone could recognize them on the way.

"Alright." Balthazar nodded. "Then, see you soon." He gave him a contained smile.

But Castiel didn't hide his contentment and smiled widely. He gave Balthazar one last kiss. "Love you," he whispered and then he walked away.

Balthazar had to seriously control himself not to go after Castiel and give him a replay of what they did last night.

Castiel walked all the way home with the most stupid grin on his face. He was so full of love and happiness... like he hadn't been in a long time.

* * *

**I started writing this story about a year ago. Half of it I wrote now, so sorry if you noticed any difference in the way it is written. My writing has the tendency to change over time. But I hope you enjoyed it :)**

**And I was wondering if I should continue or not. What do you think? Would you like to know more about Castiel and Balthazar's past, especially the three years they were apart?**


	2. Seven or Eight Days

**So I decided to continue this story. I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

Chapter 2: Seven Or Eight Days

Castiel got home at 9:30 and before he opened the door he hid all the good feelings he was having behind a straight face. "Mom?" he called when he entered the house to let her know he had arrived. He closed the door and immediately heard hurried steps.

"Castiel," his mother said with a worried tone when she saw him and she hugged him tight in relieve.

His mother's name was Mary; she had a golden blond hair partially curled that reached her shoulders and beautiful sky blue eyes. When someone discovered (it wasn't a secret but they didn't usually mention it) that one of her son's was adopted, usually people thought it was Castiel. Balthazar was strangely alike their mother, at least more than Castiel. They had both a blond hair, although Balthazar's tone was slightly darker and they shared the same light blue eyes. But the similarity between them and difference to Castiel didn't bother them. Castiel looked more like their father, John, who was probably at work. He and Castiel had the same dark brown hair, but the intense sapphire blue colour of Castiel's eyes was a mystery.

"Are you alright?" Mary pulled back to look at her son.

"Yes, mom, I'm alright." Castiel was the concern in her eyes. "I spent the night at Anna's house. Sorry I didn't tell you anything," he apologized truthfully.

The truth was Mary was already concerned the moment Castiel left to his birthday party. She noticed Castiel wasn't well; he hadn't been well since Balthazar left. In times of festivity Castiel seemed to be worst. But now, looking at her baby (with 17 years old), it seemed like Castiel was in somehow better. He didn't look sad and melancholic, he looked tranquil and maybe even a bit content.

"It's alright," Mary said in sweet calm voice. "But please don't do that again, Castiel" she asked.

"Yes, mom." Castiel gave her a nod and an ensuring little smile.

Mary placed a hand on Castiel's cheek, smiling, and she kissed his son's forehead. Then she stepped back. "So how was the party?" she asked casually.

Castiel was a bit taken aback with the question. The time he was at the party he didn't pay much attention to it; there was loud music playing and several people were there. But the person Castiel wanted to be present, wasn't. That was why Castiel went to look for him. "It was good," he said simply.

Mary waited for Castiel to say something more, but he didn't. That was the way he was; few words and only the necessary. "Well, I'm glad you had a nice time, dear."

After that Castiel went to take a shower and eat breakfast.

* * *

The next two days were the longest of Castiel's life. Castiel's birthday had been at Friday night. It was now Monday and there were no news from Balthazar. The day at school had passed very slowly and the fact Anna kept asking what he had done when he left the party, didn't help. Although Castiel had told her a credible lie, she didn't look much convinced. But by the end of the day at school she stopped bothering him with that subject. Maybe because it had been a long day and she was tired, just like he was.

His father went to pick him up at school, like he used to, in his black pick-up truck. It was almost 7pm when they got home and his mother was cooking dinner. It smelled very good, just like everything she made. Castiel went to his room on the first floor to organize things for the next day and to rest.

Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. Mary went to open the door.

"Balthazar," the name escaped from her lips. She hadn't seen her son in three years, but she immediately recognized him, although he looked a bit different. Mary stood for a moment staring at his son, contemplating him, and then she stepped aside and let her older son in.

"Hi, mom," Balthazar said, smiling.

Mary immediately hugged him, tight, almost crying from happiness. Balthazar had called her the previous day, asking to come back home. She was surprised at the time, but of course she didn't say no. So she knew Balthazar was coming, but one thing was talking to him on the phone and the other was having him at the door.

After a minute, Mary let go of her son, with a big smile on her face. She wondered why she ever let Balthazar walk out that door. But it had been his decision and he seemed to need some time alone for whatever reason. She was certain Balthazar would come back when he was ready, but she didn't think it would take so long.

Balthazar took a few more steps inside the house and he saw his father. John approached him with a subtle pleased smile, because men didn't grin enthusiastically. "Welcome back, son."

John gave him a manly hug and a pat on his back. "Thanks, dad," Balthazar replied.

Mary unconsciously came closer to her husband, all the way staring at Balthazar with a smile. John put a comforting arm around Mary's shoulders. "Look at you... all grown up," she said with a tear on the corner of her eye that she whipped with a finger.

Then Castiel came out of his room and when he saw Balthazar, he ran down the stairs and threw himself at his lover. He could have contained himself a bit to not leave his parents wondering, but this would also be the way he would react even if he and Balthazar weren't together. Balthazar hugged him back and Castiel tightened his arms around Balthazar's neck.

After a few seconds Balthazar gasped. "Cas, you're strangling me," he said in a weak and smiley voice.

After a moment Castiel let go of him with a wide smile on his lips.

"So you need help carrying your bags?" John offered.

"No, thanks," he answered. "Cassie helps me."

Balthazar went out to his car and Castiel followed him. Each of them carried a bag with Balthazar's stuff inside the house.

"Your room is just like you left it," Mary said as the boys passed toward the stairs.

They carried the two and only bags Balthazar had, to his bedroom. Balthazar opened the door, entered his room and dropped the bag on the floor, next to the bed. Then he looked around; he felt like he hadn't been there for ages. But the familiarity of it warmed his heart. He remembered the bed right next to the window that let in the morning light and woke him up early. He talked about changing the bed's place but he never done it. At the bottom of the room there was the desk where he used to study and few shelves with books. He turned to the opposite side of the bed where he had stereo system on top of table and a few dozens of CDs.

It was everything surprisingly clean for a room unused for three years. "This is tidier that when I lived here."

"I cleaned it," Castiel confessed, sat on the bed. "I was spending more time here than in my own room, anyway."

Balthazar raised his eyebrows and stared at him for a moment. "I didn't take you for a masochist, Cas" he commented, reading between the lines of Castiel's statement.

Castiel sighed and looked at the ground. Balthazar was right. He usually went to Balthazar's room to feel closer to his missing brother. But when he turned on the radio and one of Balthazar's favourite songs was playing, or sometimes when he read Balthazar's books and found a picture of them as a marker... It just made him cry. It reminded him how distant they were from each other.

In the end it was bittersweet feeling. But it was strangely addictive and there were days Castiel didn't want to leave his brother's room. _You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness... _Castiel remembered the song that described perfectly what he felt.

Balthazar took a step closer to him "It's okay." He ran a gentle hand trough Castiel's hair and Castiel looked up at him. "I'm here now." Balthazar leaned down a little to catch Castiel's sweet lips and kissed him softly. He opened an eye and glanced at the door, it was closed. _Good! _He let his hand slid down to the back of Castiel's neck and he pulled Castiel closer, turning the kiss deeper.

But soon their mother called them for dinner, almost startling them. Castiel didn't know how he hadn't recognize the smell when he got home of Balthazar's favourite food. Maybe because he didn't like it much and they hadn't eaten that for a long time. But this time, it tasted better for some reason.

Balthazar was delighted. It had been a long time since he ate something other than cheap crappy food. Sometimes he cooked for himself and his two roommates, but it didn't happen very often. And the mother's food is always better.

After dinner, they spent some time as family watching television until bedtime. It had been a tiring and eventful day and Balthazar and Castiel went to bed early, after saying goodnight to their parents. Balthazar threw himself on his comfy bed. He was so used to the hard mattress in had in the apartment, that he didn't even know he missed his old bed. He soon fell asleep and had a good night of rest.

To Castiel, it had been years since he slept so well. He even woke up early, around 7:30, not a bit sleepy. He heard his parents leaving for work and closing the front door. He got up and walked to Balthazar's bedroom that was right next to his. Balthazar was still sleeping, completely leaned to the wall for some reason, leaving half of bed free. Castiel got into the bed, quick and silent, like a pro. He had actually lost count how many times he sneaked into his brother's bed. He was face to face with Balthazar, and he snuggled closer until he felt his lover's warm slow breathing on his cheek. He wanted to wake up Balthazar, but he didn't do that; instead he closed his eyes and waited for him to wake up.

It took almost an hour until Balthazar woke up with the sunlight on his face. He needed some time to adjust his eyes to the light and then he saw Castiel laid next to him. He was surprised at first but then the peaceful blue eyes of his lover eased his feelings and his subtle smile warmed his heart. Yeah, he could get used to this...

"Good morning, Cassie." He was so close to Castiel that he didn't have to move much to brush his nose affectionately against his.

Castiel quickly caught his lips, kissing him gently. Balthazar put a hand on Castiel's waist over the soft pyjama sweatshirt, intending to bring his closer, but instead he pulled Castiel away a little. "What about mom and dad?" he suddenly remembered.

"They already went to work," Castiel replied in a calm voice.

"And you... shouldn't you be at school?"

"I only have classes after lunch."

"Oh," he realised. "So we're alone, then."

Castiel nodded, smiling, and kissed him again. This time Balthazar pulled him closer to his chest. Soon Castiel pressed a hand on his shoulder and made him lay on his back, getting on top of him in the process. With the forearms at each side of Balthazar's neck, Castiel claimed his lips. In every kiss Castiel felt like a fire ignited inside his heart and the rest of his body went limp. He kissed Balthazar slow and softly, tasting him and savouring all the intense feelings until it became natural and his body asked for more. Balthazar let Castiel take his time to do whatever he wanted, while his hands rested on Castiel's lower back. But soon the strong sensations lost its power and Castiel sought for more. He held Balthazar's face with one hand and pressed their burning mouths deeper, making muffled sound of pleasure that meant he had found what he was looking for. It sent a profound electric shock to Balthazar and spread through his body, making his hands rise to Castiel's back and grip him almost painfully tight against him.

As their tongues slowly danced and their hearts beat fast, Balthazar lowered his hands again and this time he found Castiel's smooth skin. After a while, Castiel pulled away, panting in need of air.

"Already had all the fun?" Balthazar teased also with a fast breathing.

Castiel smirked and took a few deep breaths. "Just preparing for the second round."

Balthazar chuckled a little. "I guess it's my turn now." Without another warning he rolled them to the side until he was on top of Castiel. Settled between his legs and with arms touching on each side of Castiel's torso, Balthazar gave him a quick kiss on the lips and then moved a little lower. He trailed a few gentle kisses down Castiel's neck until he accidentally reached a sensitive spot.

"Balthazar..." Castiel gasped softly in pleasure and unconsciously brought his hands Balthazar's head.

Balthazar loved it. It was the sexiest way Castiel had ever said his name and it defiantly became Balthazar's favourite. So he kept hitting that spot, kissing and sucking while Castiel shivered underneath him. When he sucked a little harder Castiel let out a sudden moan that made Balthazar look up. Castiel face was flushed, his eyes were closed, enjoying the new feelings, and his lips were red and shiny from the intense kisses. Balthazar inspected the red mark he was making on Castiel's clear neck. At the loss of contact, Castiel opened his eyes.

"Sorry, Cassie. I shouldn't leave any physical evidence." The neck was a visible place and if anyone noticed the possible hickey, it could cause some questions.

But Balthazar wasn't going to stop. He pulled the covers of the bed down; it was hot in there and he needed mobility. He slowly lifted up Castiel's sweatshirt and then took it off. Balthazar continued his work on Castiel's rise and falling chest, kissing and licking it. When he reached to Castiel's nipple the younger boy hummed in delight and gripped his hair tighter. Slowly, Balthazar went lower, passing from the chest to the soft belly, always feeling Castiel's erection against his body.

"_Stop..._" Castiel said in a trembling and weak plea when Balthazar kissed a sensitive part in his lower abdomen.

Balthazar looked at him; he didn't want to do anything Castiel didn't want or wasn't comfortable with. But Castiel didn't want him to stop, not really, he was just reaching the climax too fast and he wouldn't last long if he didn't take a break. The sensations were so intense Castiel had his eyes closed again, head thrown back on the pillow and he was biting his bottom lip hard that muffled the sweet sounds he made. Balthazar moved away, Castiel's weak hands falling down his face, unable to follow his movement. He rose up and kissed Castiel's lips gently and then he let Castiel catch his breath a little as he looked into his lustful eyes.

Balthazar kissed him again, deeper, as he palmed Castiel's crotch, pressing gently, which caused Castiel to moan again under the kiss. Balthazar lay on his side, close to Castiel, kissing his neck as his hand travelled down Castiel's abdomen to his pyjama pants. Balthazar's hand sneaked inside the soft pants and boxers until he reached the hard and sensitive member. Castiel clutched the sheet of the bed when Balthazar grabbed his cock and stroke it gently.

Castiel's body trembled and convulsed to the sound of gasps and murmurs of pure delight. Balthazar put a leg over Castiel's shivering one and then tangled under it, holding it still, as he continued moving his hand around Castiel's wet and pulsating cock. When Balthazar moved faster and tighter, Castiel had a sudden convulsion, gripping hard Balthazar's shirt and pulling him desperately closer under the sound of a low cry.

It was so unexpected that Balthazar stopped everything he was doing, in surprise. Castiel was so sensitive... "I got you, angel," he whispered to Castiel's ear and kissed his sweaty cheek.

Castiel loosened his hold but he didn't let go of Balthazar who resumed to his handwork. Slow at first but soon it became faster until Castiel was his earlier state, breathing heavily, trembling and mumbling sweet sounds of pleasure. Balthazar kissed him, gave him all his love, while Castiel started trusting into his hand. He only lasted a few seconds after that, reaching the climax with a loud but broken moan.

Balthazar kept stoking him gently in the base until the orgasm was over. If Castiel wasn't already laid on the bed he would have collapsed on it. Balthazar retrieved his hand, not as wet as he expected, but he still cleaned it on the sheets and pulled Castiel to him. Castiel panted heavily against Balthazar, wrapped in his arms until his breathing became regular.

Castiel kissed Balthazar's neck. Balthazar met his eyes, smiled and kissed him passionately. "You're good?" Balthazar asked, just to be sure.

"Good doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now," Castiel replied, still with afterglow visible in his voice.

Balthazar chuckled. "Well, I'm glad to hear that."

"What about you?" Castiel moved above him, placing a leg between his and pressing the knee on Balthazar's crotch. Balthazar let out a soft gasp. Obviously he was aroused, it was impossible not to be after the intense lovemaking.

"You know what was really good right now? A shower," Balthazar said. "What do you say?" he raised an eyebrow.

Castiel only smiled and kissed him.

So they went to the bathroom and after a long and romantic shower, they got dressed. Balthazar made them breakfast and they had a nice morning together. When it was time for Castiel to go to school, Balthazar took him.

For the next days, Balthazar was Castiel's personal chauffeur. During the rest of the week Balthazar readapted to the life he had before he left. It was good to be again with his family and in the weekend they had a picnic where they used to go in the summer. But now it was November and it was a bit cold but fortunately it wasn't very windy, so in the end they had a great time. His parents asked about the life he had for the past three years, but Balthazar tried not to tell them much. It hadn't been bad, the apartment he lived in was old, dark and didn't have many sanitary conditions, but he had a good company, Sam and Dean were nice roommates (well, Dean was kind of a jerk sometimes but he was still a nice guy, and Sammy was a sweet kid), he also had a few more friends in the bar where he worked, but it certainly wasn't the life his parents wanted for him.

Now his life had improved, he had his family again; he had Cassie as the love of his life.

It was Tuesday afternoon and Balthazar went to pick up Castiel at the school as he usually did. They got home at 6pm and they were all alone; their parents only left from work an hour later.

When they got in the house they went to the living room where Castiel dropped his backpack next to the couch.

"What do you want to eat?" Balthazar asked, heading to the kitchen.

Balthazar did that every day, that same question when they got home and then he cooked whatever Castiel asked him. Castiel felt like Balthazar was spoiling him, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the attention.

Castiel walked to his lover, slowly grabbed the sides of his opened black leather jacket and whispered looking at him, "You."

Castiel was usually so sweet, so innocent... But there were times that he just teased him. It was rare and it always caught Balthazar off guard. If he was drinking something he'd choke on it, like it happened four days ago. But this time it felt like his heart froze for a second and then was set on fire that spread through his whole body.

After staring at the smaller (only by 2 inches) beautiful boy, Balthazar kissed him gentle and sweetly. Castiel put his arms around Balthazar's neck, bringing himself closer into the loving kiss, while Balthazar wrapped his arms around him. The kiss only lasted 6 seconds.

"What is this?!" Their father exclaimed loudly in perplexity.

Startled, they let go of each other and face their father who had the maddest expression Balthazar had ever seen. Suddenly he felt ashamed.

"Dad..." Castiel said nervously. "It... It's not what it looks like." He had no idea what else to say, he was starting to freak out.

"Oh, really?!" John shouted in disbelieve.

His tone didn't ease Castiel's stress. "Please, Dad, just try to understand. We love each other." He wasn't able to make up a lie; it may have not worked but he could have tried. But no, he just released the truth.

"You're brothers!" John stated, looking at Castiel.

"Actually, we're not." Castiel tried to mimic his father's tone, but he couldn't. And it was better that way.

"You are! We raised you like brothers!" Then John looked at Balthazar. "Didn't we?!" he asked his older son.

Static, Balthazar only nodded. It was the only thing he could do. He felt like he had failed, like had disappointed his parents. His father was right; they had given him everything, a home, a family, affection... He wasn't repaying that the right way. He felt unworthy of all that.

"This won't keep happening! I will not tolerate this in my house!" John decreed in an angry voice.

"Then I better leave," Balthazar said in a low tone, looking down. If he couldn't be with Castiel, he couldn't stay in the house. Seeing him every day, all the time... it was just torture.

"What?! No!" Castiel quickly turned to him.

Even John seemed a bit surprised but the sudden decision. "I think you should," he said in a calmer tone but still harsh. It was for the best.

Balthazar swallowed hard the tension in his throat and the burn in his eyes and walked in direction of the stairs to go grab his things.

"No! Balthazar, don't leave!" Castiel begged in a loud voice, as he went after Balthazar and grabbed his arm.

"CASTIEL!"

The strong deep voice of his father made him freeze on the spot and let go of Balthazar who kept walking away as Castiel watched him get inside his bedroom.

After a few seconds Castiel turned to his father, shivering. "Dad, _please_ don't let Balthazar go." His voice was weak and broken and his eyes filled with tears. But John seemed not to care. "Please..."

Castiel kept trying to convince his father, to make him understand. He begged, he yelled... but nothing. Balthazar could hear them as he packed his things with trembling hands. He filled one bag and he was done; he just wanted to get out of that frustrating situation. He grabbed the bag tight, carving the nails into his hand and he walked back down.

He tried to avoid looking at two people standing in the hall. But it was impossible to miss the disappointed look of his father or Castiel's red face covered with tears rolling down his cheeks. "Balthazar, don't go" Castiel begged again, as he passed by him, with a sobbing voice as more tears fell from his eyes.

Balthazar stopped at the door, facing it, instead of the other people. For a moment he wanted to stay, he wanted to explain himself, he wanted to fight for his relationship with Castiel... but he didn't. He was weak. "I'm sorry," he whispered, unable say it louder as his vision was blurred with tears. The message seemed to be directed to John, but it was also for Castiel.

Balthazar opened the door and got out.

"No..." Castiel still reached for Balthazar, but the door slammed in front of him. "No!" he said angrily.

Castiel turned to his father covered in new burning tears. "I HATE YOU!" he screamed on the top of his lungs and then ran to his bedroom.

Castiel was always nice to everyone; never in his life he said he hated someone, much less his father.


	3. Lost and Found

Chapter 3: Lost and Found

Two days later, Balthazar was back to the place where he passed the last three years, except the previous week. But he was also trying to forget that week; it was the best, to pretend it never happened. But that was hard as hell!

Still, Balthazar tried. He tried to keep himself busy and try not to think about the permanent memories in his head and the images of Castiel every time he closed his eyes, first happy as he kissed him and then washed up in tears like he was when he left.

Now he was working; fortunately he got his old job back. The bar where he worked was called Roadhouse, it wasn't big but it was a lot of people went there every night. So at night almost everyone was working; he, Dean, Ash and Jo. Sometimes Ellen, who owned the place, even helped.

* * *

"Dean, just go talk to him!" Jo told him with the authoritarian voice she clearly inherited from her mother, Ellen.

They both looked at Balthazar cleaning a table at the corner of the bar while they kept cleaning the counter.

"Look, I tried!" Dean replied. "He says he's alright."

"He's not alright," Jo countered immediately. "He worked all night. Ash said they closed the bar at 6am. Now it's midday and Balthazar is already here." She complained with a concerned tone. The bar was currently closed and they were cleaning up the mess from that night. "Not to mention he looks like hell."

"Sammy says he barely slept." Dean added, also concerned.

Balthazar was mostly presentable, his clothes were cleaned and starched, but he looked very tired. Those who didn't know him, looking at Balthazar, would think he was sick.

"But why it's gotta be me to talk to him?" Dean complained. "I'm not good at this feeling-sharing thing."

Jo sighed in frustration. "Because you're his friend. You've been living together for years." She wanted to yell at Dean, but she contained herself to a low voice so Balthazar wouldn't hear them.

Jo and Ash were also Balthazar's friends, but it was different. Dean was with him most time of the day, and they had become good friends, so it was more likely Balthazar would open up to him.

"Fine!" But Dean wasn't comfortable with that. He tossed down the cloth he was washing the counter with and filled a glass with something. It didn't matter what it was, since it helped him relax. He drank the alcoholic liquid in a few sips and then he filled it again. He walked to Balthazar.

"Yo, Balthy, I think that table was cleaned two minutes ago." Dean commented friendly and patted on his back.

Balthazar stopped and looked back at Dean. But he didn't say anything, not even a tiny smile.

"Sit down. Let's take a break, okay?" Dean said.

They pulled back the chairs and sat at the table, in front of each other. Dean placed the glass he had in his hand on the table. "Have a drink." He slid the glass to Balthazar.

Balthazar grabbed the glass and drank the whole thing while Dean stared at him with wide eyes. He had meant it as a joke, he did that all the time, but Balthazar didn't like to drink and he never accepted one. That was one more thing had to the 'Wrong things about Balthazar' list.

Dean cleared his throat. "You know I'm not the chick-flick kind of guy, but..." He shook his head; he wasn't going to get anything from Balthazar that way. So he changed to a more direct approach. "Talk to me!"

Balthazar looked at him. "I'm fine, Dean." He didn't even try to be convincing.

"My ass!" Dean replied. "You went back to your foster family and you come back like this? Something happened!" He tried not to be too harsh on his friend, but the whole thing was getting to his nerves.

"It just..." Balthazar looked down. "It didn't work out." It was vague, but at least Balthazar said something about it.

"Did they kick you out again?" He couldn't help himself from asking. From what he knew, or didn't know, that was what Dean thought it had happen.

"No!" Balthazar quickly answered. "Dean, I told you, my parents didn't kick me out. Not before and not now. I left!" Dean had asked him before why he left, obviously he never told him the truth, so Dean convinced himself that his parents made him leave. Just like all the other times, Dean wasn't convinced. "I know you had bad experiences with foster families, but my parents... they're nice. They're my family."

Dean and Sam's parents died in a car crash 10 years ago, Dean was 10 and Sam was 6. They had no more family that would take care of them so they went to an orphanage. The first time they were both adopted by the same family fortunately, because the foster parents were informed that they were brothers, but after some time they were sent back to the orphanage. Dean always was kind of a troublemaker and after his parents' death it got worse and the foster parents didn't have the time or patience to deal with him.

After that, Sam was adopted a few more times, but Dean didn't. He hoped his little brother was alright, but only when he returned, Dean knew how bad Sam was treated and how he hated being there. So Dean promised he wouldn't let anyone separate them again. Dean tried very, very hard, but a year later, when Sam was 12, he was adopted again and Dean couldn't stop them from taking Sam away. So Dean escaped from the orphanage, went to the house where Sam was and took him out of there. They ran away together, until they found the apartment they now lived in. They didn't have a good life, but at least they were together. Then, Balthazar appeared.

Dean snorted. "If they were such nice guys, you wouldn't leave."

Balthazar just shook his head. No matter what he said, Dean wouldn't believe him, he wouldn't understand him. So what was the point in talking to him?

Dean realised Balthazar wasn't going to say anything more about the matter. He wasn't surprised; like he said, he was bad at emotional talks.

After some time in silence, they resumed to work.

* * *

At the late afternoon when Dean finished his work at the bar, he returned to the apartment. Ellen, seeing Balthazar's state, had sent him home two hours earlier. When he entered the apartment, Sam was at the kitchen table, doing his homework. There was a plate on the table with a half sandwich that Sam was probably eating and an empty glass that once had orange juice.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean greeted him.

"Dean," Sam replied a bit surprised. He was so focused on his work that he didn't hear his brother come in.

Dean usually called him a geek for studying so much, but he was actually proud of Sam, he had very good grades and hoped and worked for having a better future. Dean never liked school much but he made sure Sam had everything he need for school.

Dean looked around and then asked "How's Balthazar?"

Sam looked down. He also didn't like to see his friend so sad. "He slept an hour," Sam said as if it was a great thing. And considering how bad and little Balthazar slept, it probably was. "Then I sent him to do some shopping." They didn't need much things, it was just to keep Balthazar busy. It was better than leaving him be, locked in his room. Sam swore he sometimes heard Balthazar cry.

Dean nodded. "Good."

Then Dean went to take a shower. He had some sort of a date with a girl he met at the bar today. It was nothing fancy; he'd just take the girl to dinner somewhere. Wherever they went Dean knew he'd end up in the girl's bed. A date with no strings attached, only fun; that was the way Dean like it.

The shower turned out to be half-hot and half-cold. The stupid shower had mood swings. While Dean was dressing up, someone knocked on the door. Who would it be? Balthazar certainly wasn't; he had the key. No one else knocked at their door.

Sam went to open the door, carefully. He peeked out, holding the door half-open. There was mid aged woman at the door, she was blond and was well dressed. She smiled and said, "Hello. I'd like to talk to Balthazar. I was told he lived here."

She seemed somewhat nice, but Sam didn't give her much trust. After what he and Dean had been through, they developed trusting issues. After a moment staring at the woman, Sam asked "Who are you?" He tried to hide his nervousness, to not sound so vulnerable. But then Dean appeared behind him (already dressed), and Sam relaxed.

"I'm his mother," she answered.

Sam looked surprised at her, but it was Dean who talked with an unhappy face. "You mean his foster-mother," he intentionally corrected, making it sound less worthy of the title of mother.

The boy's upset tone didn't go unnoticed by Mary. "...Yes," she still agreed nicely.

"What are you doing here?!" Dean asked in an impolite tone.

"I would like to talk to my son," Mary repeated, in case the other young man hadn't heard her.

"For what? To pretend you care about him?!" Dean said harshly, with anger in his eyes. "To take him home only to kick him out again?!"

Sam saw the words shatter Mary's smile in pieces and her happy expression vanished in a second. He felt a bit sorry for her. "Balthazar isn't here," he informed her.

"Yeah, you came a little late," Dean added in the same mad tone with a hint of sarcasm. "Like... _three fucking years_!"

Sam placed a gentle but strong hand on his brother's shoulder and whispered his name to calm him down. Dean still eyed her for a couple of seconds with narrowed eyes. "Even if Balthazar was here, I wouldn't let you talk to him. You don't give a crap about him! So, just get out of here, you bitch."

"Dean!" Balthazar yelled as he quickly came closer with a serious mad face. "You don't talk to my mother like that!" He shouted, standing between Dean and Mary in an intimidating posture. Dean inadvertently took a step backwards, inside the house. He stared at Dean with the angriest eyes Dean had ever seen on his friend.

Balthazar noticed Sam approaching with an awestruck face, he looked almost scared. Balthazar passed across Dean and walked inside the apartment to put down the bag of groceries on the kitchen table.

Dean went after him. He seemed unaffected by Balthazar's strong voice, or perhaps he just ignored it. "Don't tell me you're gonna talk to her," he complained.

Sam also followed them and he noticed Mary entering the house but standing near the door. "Dean," Sam intervened with a soft voice to make Dean stop feeding up the discussion. He didn't like fights and he didn't want it to continue.

"After they throw you out?! Twice?!" Dean continued with a loud voice.

"Dean, you don't know what happened, so shut up!" Balthazar yelled at him again. "Just go! Leave us!"

After some time staring at him, Dean replied. "You're kidding, right?"

"Go!" He ordered to Dean. With a soft look he politely asked Sam to leave too.

Sam nodded slightly and he walked toward the door. After a while, Dean followed his brother, but he still glared at Mary before closing the door behind him.

Balthazar took a few deep breaths, standing with his back turned to his mother. "Sorry... about Dean." He's voice was soft again. "He's a jerk sometimes." For some reason he couldn't turn around, he couldn't face his mother. He was too ashamed.

"That's alright," Mary replied with her always sweet and calming voice. "He's right on one thing, this conversation should have happened a long time ago."

Balthazar tensed up, but he didn't say anything. He didn't want to have this talk.

After a moment of silence Mary carried on. "Balthazar," She took a gentle step forward. The way she talked was a plea for Balthazar look at her. "you know why I'm here."

Balthazar pressed his eyes shut, trying to stay calm and gathered the emotional strength to reply. Mary wasn't there at the time, but she certainly knew what had happened between him and Castiel. "To tell me you're disappointed at me." Balthazar slowly turned around, facing down. "That I let you down." Finally he looked at his mother with teary eyes.

Mary seemed sad and a bit confused. "Balthazar, I'm not disappointed at you. I never was." She walked closer to her son. "I've always been proud of you."

This time was Balthazar who seemed confused and uncertain if his mother's words were true. But she had never lied to him.

"I never told you this, but after we took you in, sometimes I was afraid we wouldn't be able to give you everything you needed. That I'd fail as a mother to you." She paused for a moment. Balthazar shook his head because his parents did everything for him. He knew and was grateful for that. "When you got older and we had to tell you you were adopted, I was reluctant. I didn't want to tell you, I was afraid of your reaction, but you had the right to know. Against everything I expected, you took it very well." Mary looked surprised, just like it the day she and John told Balthazar he was adopted, 7 years ago.

"Then I read an article, a dumb article that said that adopted children are more likely to run away from home. Since then, I lived with the fear that you'd ran away for some reason. But you didn't. Instead of simply leaving, you came to talk to me, you asked if you could leave." Mary took a deep breath, holding back the tears. "I thought it would be wrong to keep you in a place you didn't want to be, so I let you go." There was a moment of silence and then she concluded. "You've always surprised me in the situations I feared the most, Balthazar. I could never be disappointed at you."

Mary brought a gentle hand to touch Balthazar's cheek and smiled before hugging him. Balthazar breathed deep, relaxing into his mother's embrace. When they pulled apart Balthazar gave her a small smile.

"Now... can we talk?" She asked with peaceful sea blue eyes, resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Balthazar gave an apprehensive look that said 'Do I have to?', but he still nodded a little.

Mary looked around the apartment. Ignoring the poor conditions of it and the little and old furniture, she found the couch at their left. She walked to it and sat down in the uncomfortable couch that was positioned in front of a small and old television. Taking the hint, Balthazar followed his mother's movements, but he sat on the short dark wooded table between the couch and the television, facing his mother.

Mary carefully chose the words. "I talked to John. He told me what happened." He had already predicted that. "I also talked to Castiel. He tried to explain, but between tears and almost anxiety attacks, not much got through," she finished in a sad and concerned tone.

Balthazar got worried too. All this time since he left, he wondered how Castiel would be, he hoped his lover (although far, Castiel would always have his heart) was more or less alright. At least better than he was, but apparently he was worse.

"So I came to you. Can you help me understand?"

Yes, he wanted to help his mother. He wanted her to understand. But how?! How could someone get their head around the fact their sons' loved each other romantically and were dating? How could he explain in a non awkward way? It was impossible.

Balthazar shook his head and his chest tightened as if he wanted to shout how much he loved Castiel and couldn't stand to be away from him, but the rational (fearful) part of him stopped him from talking. He stood up suddenly, the inner conflict was suffocating him. He nervously paced around.

"Balthazar. Come here," Mary said in a half commanding tone. She grabbed his forearm and gently pulled her son and made him sit on the couch, next to her. Balthazar looked at her attentively.

"What about I tell you another story?" Mary asked with gentle smile.

Balthazar suddenly travelled back in time when he a young boy. When he hurt himself while playing or when he had a disagreement with someone, his mother always told him a story, and it made him feel better every time. It seemed like his mother knew what he was feeling and knew exactly what to do, before and now. It was supposed to surprise Balthazar but if he thought about it, it was natural; next to Castiel, Mary was the person who knew him better and knew how to deal with him.

Balthazar nodded. "Yes," he replied, with expectant eyes. Not exactly as when he was a kid, but partly like it.

"Alright. I was thinking about telling you the story of how we met. Would you like to know that?"

"It sounds interesting." He hadn't heard about his adoption, how or why they adopted him, and especially why _him._

"Let's start by the beginning then. I always wanted to have children, I always dreamed about it, but sometimes life isn't as we dream of. John and I tried to have a baby, but we couldn't. I got pregnant, but my hormonal system was unbalanced and I lost the baby." Mary paused. It was obviously hard for her to talk about it, but there was also a determination. "We went to the doctor and she tried to help us, but the treatment didn't work. After three spontaneous abortions, we considered giving up; the unsuccessful treatment was doing bad things to me, physical and emotionally." For three time she had expected a child; she had loved a baby that never saw the light of day. "But I wanted to try one last time. And we did it, I got pregnant again. But it still could not work, so we started thinking about other options."

"We contacted a few orphanages and went to spend some time with some children. And then I saw... you." Mary pointed a finger to him. "A little boy with curly blond hair playing with a red car toy, a firefighter's car I believe. I crouched down to you; you eyed for a moment and you said 'mama'." Balthazar widened his eyes in surprise. It seemed surreal, the story of fairytale, and yet it was his story. "I asked a caretaker and she told me no one had heard you talk before. It could have just been a coincidence, but it stuck in my mind. I visited you a few more times after that, but then my doctor order me to stay in bed so I wouldn't have a problem during the rest of the pregnancy. And fortunately I didn't. But the birth happened three weeks earlier than expected and it was very complicated and risky. I didn't care about myself at the time, I just wanted Castiel to be alright." She paused.

"He almost died..." Balthazar shivered internally. "But two weeks later we finally took him home." Balthazar exhaled deeply. "We finally had a son... but I kept thinking about you. It could have been maternal instinct, but I couldn't leave you there. So we adopted you, despite of multiple advises against it. But we got you."

Balthazar listened closely what his mother told him, like when she told him all those stories when he was young. He felt better. It was good to know he hadn't been a second choice. In this case there was neither a first or second choice, there was merely a choice and his parents chose _him_. Between dozens of other children. They could simply decide not to adopt him; they already had Castiel, they already had a son, they didn't need him. But they wanted him.

"That's a good story," he commented with a little smile. A story with a happy ending, like all stories should have.

Mary also smiled at him for a moment, but then the smile dissolved and she looked down a bit with an almost sad face.

Balthazar obviously noticed that. It was impossible not to. "What is the moral?" Every story his mother told him had a moral. Sometimes he didn't understand it right away, so he usually asked. Perhaps this story had a double meaning.

"What I also meant to tell you is that... I almost lost Castiel once and I feel like I'm losing him again." Mary made a small pause to breathe. "I've been losing him since the first time you left, I just didn't realise it. So please, Balthazar, come back home." Mary grabbed his hand.

"What?" He moved away a little. He wasn't expecting that request.

"I've talked to your father and, even though we don't truly understand it, we accept the relationship you have with Castiel."

If his mother was saying that and his father truly agreed, Castiel must be very, very troubled. His heart clenched as he imagined how broken Castiel should be, probably the way he was when he left.

Mary took him out of the dark trance, stopping an almost formed tear from rolling down Balthazar's cheek. "You love Castiel, don't you?" she said it as incentive to make him return.

"Yes," he confessed. He stood up from the couch. "Very much," he continued in a serious voice. "But in a wrong way," he murmured and turned away.

Mary also got up. "Balthazar," she said calmly. "love is a complicated emotion, but is never wrong." Balthazar turned to her. "If it's true love that binds you together, we don't have the right to oppose to your relationship. No one has. And you should forget the society believes. They are outdated."

Balthazar felt a weight, built up for years, being lift of his shoulders. The idea he had that he and Castiel being together was wrong, immoral and disgusting, disappeared and he felt a lot lighter and free. "I didn't expect you to understand," he said surprised.

"My father didn't like the fact that I was dating John. My father didn't like him nor approved our relationship; only because John came from a poor family." Mary shook her head. "Absurd old-fashioned believes." Mary came from a rich family, but although she inherited a lot of money she always worked hard and humbly to reach her goals. After a pause she continued. "So, yes, I understand."

"It's still strange, isn't it?" Balthazar asked doubtful, because that couldn't just be totally okay. He hadn't been so fearful for no reason.

"It's... unusual. But I'm sure everything will work out."

Balthazar smiled, easy and happy, and he hugged his mother. "Thanks." Mary was with no doubt the most understanding person in the world.

Mary kissed his forehead and petted his soft blond hair.

Then they drove home; Balthazar in his car and Mary in her's. Before leaving Balthazar left a note to Sam and Dean telling them he was returning home. After a little more than an hour of driving, they arrived. It wasn't 8pm yet, but the night was already dark and cold.

Balthazar had been worrying about Castiel all the way home, so as the door opened he stepped inside the house hurriedly, eager to see Castiel again, to check how he was.

His father met them in the hallway as soon as they arrived. He didn't have the mad face he had last time Balthazar saw him. On the contrary, his father seemed to have an apologizing expression when he looked at him, but he didn't say anything about it. "Castiel is in your room," John told him, knowing Balthazar's priorities.

Balthazar gave him a short nod and with no time to waste, he quickly went upstairs. The door of his bedroom was almost completely closed, the small gap was the size of a finger. Balthazar pushed the door open and revealed the dark room, as dark as the night outside. He opened the door completely for the corridor's light enter the room and reveal a body lied on his bed. Castiel was lied on his stomach, with the head turned to the opposite direction of the door.

For a second Balthazar thought he was sleeping, but then he noticed Castiel trembling. A moment later he heard an uneven breath and a sob. Castiel was crying.

"Leave me alone!" He shouted, thinking it was someone else, but his voice failed at the end and turned into a weak mumble. Castiel let his head fall on the pillow that he was gripping with both hands, muffling another cry as his body quickly convulsed.

Balthazar only stared at him for a moment, partly in shock. He'd say that he hated seeing Castiel like that, but this was the first time he saw little Cassie so damaged and vulnerable and angry. He took a deep breath, composing himself. "You sure about that, Cassie?" he said in a light voice.

Recognizing the voice, Castiel suddenly sat up on the bed, no longer crying and looking at him with surprised wide eyes. It took him less that a second to confirm it was in fact Balthazar standing at the door and Castiel ran to him desperately. Balthazar caught him as Castiel crashed to him and held him violently tight. Balthazar wanted to take a better look of his lover, but Castiel hid his face, pressing it against his shoulder and started crying again.

"I'm back." Balthazar ran a hand through Castiel's hair as he whispered soothing words. "And I'm not leaving you again."

After another louder cry from Castiel, Balthazar caressed his warm and wet face and lifted his head. He met Castiel's shiny eyes for a second before kissing him gently. Castiel held him closer as he kissed back hard and desperately. It was a bit clumsy and not very romantic, but the heart needs what the heart needs. To steady Castiel, Balthazar suddenly cornered him to the wall of the room, held his face with both hands, and kissed him deeply until he was breathless.

After a minute Balthazar pulled apart, leaving Castiel gasping for air but at the same time he seemed calmer than when he first saw him. No more sad tears fell from his lovely eyes. Balthazar pulled Castiel against him, wrapping his arms around the beautiful boy, his beautiful boy, while Castiel regulate his breathing.

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes in the dark room, Balthazar's warm and familiar body soothing Castiel's. Then Castiel gently pulled back and looked at his lover. "What about mom and dad?" he asked in a low voice.

"They're okay with it. With us."

"Really?" Balthazar couldn't see well Castiel's features but he was sure he was frowning.

"Yes," replied in an assuring voice, brushing his lips against Castiel's. Castiel kissed him again, gentle and lovingly, until he was sure Balthazar wouldn't leave again.

After a while, they stepped out of the dark room and Balthazar stopped outside the door to take a look at person he loved the most in the world. Castiel looked tired, his eyes were red and swollen from crying so much and his clothes were untidy just like his hair. Balthazar passed his fingers through Castiel's dark and messy hair, combing it the right way and pressed a kiss on Castiel's forehead. Then, holding hands, they went to meet their parents downstairs.

Castiel was still a bit uncertain of their parents' approval and he leaned closer to Balthazar when he saw them.

"Cassie," his mother said with a fondly smile but sad eyes for seeing Castiel's poor and heartbreaking appearance.

He looked at his father who also had soft expression. "I don't understand. I thought you were mad at us."

"I'm not going to lie, this is a very strange situation," John said, still not fully understanding his sons' relationship. "But..."

"But more than anything, we want what all parents want for their children. For them to be happy." Mary completed.

Castiel smiled. He went to his mother and kissed her cheek, thanking her. Then he turned to his father and said, "I'm sorry what I said. I don't hate you, dad."

"I know you don't, son." John smiled and placed a strong assuring hand on Castiel's shoulder.

Everything was fine. More than fine, it couldn't be better.

Well, it actually got better when their parents told them that they had a business dinner with one of John's clients and left them alone at home. So Balthazar and Castiel decided to make a picnic on the couch, like they used to do on the night their parents had to leave. They opened the sofa-bed and made the picnic there; with a couple of pizzas, drinks, and cookies for dessert while they watched a movie that was playing on TV.

They were both very tired, so after the finished eating they put the plates aside, lay down on the pillows and covered themselves with a blanket. Without expecting it, they quickly fell asleep, snuggled on each other, with the television still turned on.

Around midnight Mary and John returned home and found the boys sleeping peacefully. Mary stood staring at them for a moment with a wide smile. "Our boys are back," she whispered to her husband, expressing all the happiness she was feeling. John placed an arm around Mary's shoulders while she grinned.

Then she turned off the television, took the plates to the kitchen and gave a goodnight kiss to each of her sons before she went to bed with John.


	4. Cassie

**Sorry about the long wait, but his chapter**** turned out bigger and harder to write than I expected. I hope you like it :/**

* * *

Chapter 4: Cassie

It was weekend again; a good opportunity to be with loved ones. And Balthazar took advantage of it. Although it was good to be with his parents again, Castiel was the focus of his attention, as always. They spent private and intimate time to make up for the lost moments when they were separated and to forget the last sorrowful days. Although they had a more public relationship - at least at home - they were respectful in others presence. It was a recent matter and hard to wrap your head around it, so Balthazar and Castiel were subtle in showing their affections when their parents were around. They mostly snuggled on each other, discreetly held their hands and sometimes they shared a quick kiss when they thought neither of their parents was looking. But they were; Mary usually noticed it and it warmed her heart to see her sons so happy.

All seemed good... and it was, most of the time. But in the intimate moments Castiel and Balthazar had, sometimes Castiel was a bit distant and those moments weren't as _intimate_ as they could be. Balthazar didn't blame him, though; he knew Castiel was afraid, afraid that something or someone would separate them again. Balthazar would be lying if he said that wasn't a scary thought. So he understood Castiel; being close again, strengthening their relationship, with the possibility of being pushed away and remembering that awful feeling still too well... It also concerned him.

Sometimes Castiel pulled him away when they were kissing, but when Balthazar looked at him there was no absence of love, it had just been momentarily replaced by fear. So Balthazar pulled him close and kissed his forehead, understanding and promising to take things slowly. They didn't talk about it, but after living together for so long, they didn't need to talk to understand each other.

Monday came. Balthazar decided to go to his old apartment to retrieve the few things he had still left there. When his mother asked him to go home, he didn't think twice and didn't bother to pack and take his stuff with him. Besides, he had left in such rush, he hadn't said goodbye to anyone.

Balthazar asked Castiel if he wanted to go along and, as expected, his lover agreed, because he wouldn't leave Balthazar's side longer than extremely necessary. Castiel's classes ended early, so after lunch, they drove to the town where Balthazar passed the last few years.

The ride lasted an hour and half, they got a little traffic, but it wasn't boring. They were listening to a good radio station and talking about the songs and sometimes singing along. When they arrived the town, Balthazar headed first to the Roadhouse. The day was foggy and cold; the usual weather for the last days of November. From the grey sky, fast and heavy drops of water hit the ground, so before stepping out of the car, Castiel put on his tan trenchcoat. Balthazar didn't have anything proper for the rain; he only had his usual leather jacket over the greyish blue sweater.

Balthazar parked the car as close as possible to bar, but it was still a bit far considering the heavy rain. They got out of the car, Balthazar quickly locked it, and they ran to the bar. Balthazar leaded the way, clearing a path between the other people on the street, as he dragged Castiel by the hand. Balthazar opened the bar's door and let Castiel get in, then followed him and closed the door.

The first thing Castiel noticed in the strange place was the absence of wet drops and the welcoming dry and warm air. The second thing he noticed was that he was grinning, for some reason running under the rain had been fun. Maybe because it unconsciously reminded him of the times he and Balthazar did that when they were kids, while their mother yelled at them to get back inside the house or they would get sick. Castiel looked at his older brother, who was also smiling, and noticed his stained wet clothes. Then he looked at his own dripping clothes. He unbuttoned the trench coat and passed a hand through his dark and now wet hair.

Castiel looked around and saw that the bar was empty; there was no one there, not even a bartender behind the counter. But a low song was playing and listening closely, Castiel identified it as a REO Speedagon's song. He took a few steps inside and then he saw the jukebox at a corner from where the music came, and right next to it there was a girl playing on a game machine. She was with her back turned on them but Castiel noticed she was slim, had blue jeans and thin purple wine sweater, and her blond hair, slightly curled, reached to the middle of her back.

When Balthazar spotted her, he walked in her direction, and Castiel followed him. The girl was so caught up in the game that she didn't notice them approaching. "Shouldn't you be working, darling?" Balthazar asked with a strong voice right behind her ear.

The girl almost jumped, startled. She suddenly let go of the game and quickly turned around. She hadn't recognized the voice, but when she saw Balthazar her expression softened. "Balthazar..." She let out a relieved sigh.

Balthazar smiled at her. "Instead of playing on the job?" he continued with a hint of mockery in his eyes.

The blond girl with brown eyes also smiled. "Don't be my mother," she complained and playfully punched on Balthazar's shoulder and passed beside him. "Besides, there's no one here." She looked around just to make sure.

"Now there is," Balthazar pointed out only to mess with her.

She turned around with arms crossed in front of her chest and ready to reply something when someone else caught her attention. Balthazar saw her looking at Castiel who was a bit farther back but next to him. "This is my brother, Castiel," he introduced as Castiel stepped forward. The title of brother didn't really fit Castiel anymore, but it was still true and Balthazar didn't want to spread their romantic relationship just yet.

"Hi," she smiled warmly. "I'm Jo."

"Hello." Castiel smiled and nodded shortly.

A sound came from the game machine and the words 'Game Over' appeared flashing on the screen. "See, now you made me loose," Jo complained to Balthazar and walked back to the machine.

"I don't know why you keep playing. You already hold the record."

Then the list of top 5 scores appeared on the screen, four of them with Jo's name and one with the name of some Jack, on the third place. "To make sure I keep the record." Several costumers played on it every night and when the bar closed Jo went to check the records to see if anyone had miraculously beaten her. Not many people reached the top 5 and when they did, Jo did he best to take them out of there as soon as possible.

But she wasn't going to keep playing now so she turned off the machine. Jo walked to the counter and the two boys followed her. "So..." She leaned against the counter and looked at Balthazar. "You're going back home." It was a sentence full of certainty and little emotion.

"Yes," Balthazar replied.

Jo slowly nodded a few times with a straight face, understanding. "...Alright." But she couldn't hide a bit of sadness in her voice.

"I also need to talk to your mother to solve a few things. Is she here?" Balthazar still had quit the job and he bet there was some money he had to receive; not that it mattered much to him.

"Yeah. She's inside." Jo pointed with a thumb to a wood door behind her.

Balthazar took a step toward the door. "But, before you go," Jo stopped him. "You have to try my newest cocktail."

She quickly sat on the counter and jumped to the part belonging to the bartenders. Then she placed a cocktail glass on the counter with an already prepared colourful drink, red at the top that mixed with the yellow on the bottom.

"So I'm going to be your subject again?"

"I just want an honest opinion. Without any dumb comments." Jo knew if she asked Ash or Dean they would make fun of her, but Balthazar, even if he didn't like it, he wouldn't be a jerk about it.

Balthazar held the glass and took a tentative sip. Then he took a larger quantity of the alcoholic drink and flavoured it in his mouth. "Did you really make this?" Balthazar asked.

"I know, it's different from the others I made. This is more... a girl's drink." The cocktails Jo previously made were strong drinks, to make people get 'happy' quicker, because that was what people looked for.

"Yes. This one doesn't have much alcohol in it," Balthazar agreed. "But it's good." He took a moment tasting the drink again. "Sweet... but fresh." Which was good because it didn't become cloying.

Jo smiled with satisfaction. "Can I make one for you too?" she offered to Castiel.

Castiel had been watching the friendly reunion and he wasn't expecting Jo's question. "Hum..." He reflexively glanced at Balthazar who gave him a short nod and an assuring expression. "Yes. Thank you." He replied, looking back at Jo with small smile.

Balthazar placed his empty glass on the counter. "I'm going to talk to Ellen," he informed Castiel, placing a soft hand on his back. "I won't take long." After a slight nod from Castiel, Balthazar walked to the back door of the bar.

Jo was already preparing Castiel's drink. She had a glass and four bottles on the lower surface inside the rectangular balcony. Castiel sat on one of the backless seats around the balcony and watched attentively as Jo finished the drink. "Here you go." She put the glass in front of Castiel. He tried it while Jo stared at him. "So, what do you think?" she asked after Castiel had taken a couple of sips.

"Hum, I don't have much knowledge about drinks." Castiel rarely had any alcoholic drinks, only at parties and the ones he tried he didn't particularly like them. "But I like this one." The cocktail was sweet like Balthazar described. It tasted like fruits, red fruits, Castiel couldn't figure which, but there was also a hint of... lemon possibly. It wasn't bitter or acid, it merely gave a fresh taste to the drink and the few alcohol didn't cut the taste of the drink. It was nice.

"I'm glad to hear that." Jo smiled at him.

Castiel kept drinking until Jo brought a worried hand to her forehead and exclaimed 'Oh, no!'. Castiel looked at her. She met his gaze. "I forgot to unpack the things that came here today. If my mom sees that still on the hall, she'll kill me. So I have to...Do you mind?" she asked with an apologizing face.

"No," Castiel replied.

"Okay. I'll be right back." Jo left by the same door Balthazar went through, but probably to a different place.

Finding himself alone, Castiel looked around the place. It was the way Castiel got familiar with new spaces and it helped him to become more comfortable in them. After a while he took off his wet trench coat and placed it on seat at his left. Castiel turned his attention back to his unfinished drink and took another slightly burning sip. He continued inspecting the bar, paying attention to the details that anyone else wouldn't notice and it wasn't anything interesting, but Castiel was naturally curious.

After a few minutes he heard the bar's door opening. He looked at it and a boy came in, at first Castiel would say he was about his age, but when he came closer Castiel decided he was probably a few years older than him. Castiel looked back at his drink, not to be staring at the young man longer that it was socially acceptable. He walked to the counter between the first and second seat at Castiel's right.

"No one here?" the boy wondered, placing his hands on the counter. "Everyone went on a vacation and forgot to close the bar or it's self-service day?"

The older boy's light and humorous voice made Castiel unconsciously smile a little. He was an easy smiling person, especially when he was in a good day, which was the case (as long as he had Balthazar by his side, every day was a good day), but he didn't let the other boy notice it.

"I don't think the bartender will take long," Castiel informed casually.

The young man looked at him. "Still, good thing I'm not in hurry." He sat down next to Castiel.

Castiel noticed the new costumer was still looking at him while he absently played with the slim stem of the glass, a bit nervously. The glass only had a little yellow liquid at the bottom. "What are you drinking?" the boy asked.

Castiel looked at him, at the young man with light brown spiky hair, bright green eyes and a short, probably still soft, beard. He was unexpectedly handsome and Castiel took a moment to answer him. "Hum, I don't really know. I guess it's something new."

"So Jo's been making cocktail experiments again," he commented with a small laughter and a hint of disdain. Castiel was surprised to know the boy was familiar about Jo, but perhaps he was a regular costumer. "I like stronger drinks."

_I bet_, Castiel thought as he felt an alcoholic breath come from the other boy. That could explain the bright eyes and slightly flustered cheeks, or maybe he was naturally like that. Although he clearly had taken a few drinks, Castiel didn't think he was drunk yet. Castiel also noticed a smell of tobacco on the person sat next to him. Castiel didn't particularly like the smell, he didn't smoke, but some of his friends did, so the smell didn't bother him either, he got used to it.

"I'm Dean." He turned his body to Castiel and held him a hand.

Castiel looked at the fit rebel boy, strangely good-looking that waited with a nice smile on his face. "Castiel," he replied and held Dean's cold but strong hand. Dean's smile widened and turned a little to the side in a not so likable way and Castiel questioned his intentions for a moment as he retreated his hand. Dean didn't seem the kind of bad boy who would hurt him, though.

"Castiel?" Dean repeated. "Really?" he asked with an amused voice. "That's a strange name, dude."

Again, Castiel couldn't help but smile and this time Dean definitely saw it. "It's an angel's name," he informed.

"In that case..." Castiel saw Dean eyeing him up and down. "It defiantly suits you."

Suddenly, Castiel realised Dean's intentions and gulped, not expecting the compliment that didn't exactly appealed him.

"Dean." Jo returned and walked to them. "I told you not to flirt with the costumers." She sounded upset.

"Nice to see you too, Jo." Dean said ironically. "And I wasn't flirting with Cas. I was being friendly."

"Like the girl you were being friendly to last night? The one you left the bar with? What happened to her?" Jo asked with an accusatory tone.

"Just so you know, we had a great time," Dean said proudly.

"Like you have with three or four girls every week," Jo muttered again.

"It's not my fault I'm irresistible," he said with a smug smile. "I like to have fun. They want to have fun. What's wrong with that?"

Jo just sighed and shook her head. There was no point in keep trying to make Dean understand what he was doing. Because the girls he slept with weren't just to have fun, they were a distraction.

Then Jo looked at Castiel, who seemed to be uncomfortable with their conversation. "I didn't know you were also into guys," she commented to Dean.

"I'm into sexy people," Dean explained uncomfortably casual.

"Well, I advise you to stop being too friendly because I have feeling it won't end well for you."

"Of course not. You just killed the mood!"

"No. Because Balthazar's gonna kill you for hitting on his brother."

He suddenly looked at Castiel in shock. Dean's flirting expression instantly disappeared, as if the knowledge that Castiel was Balthazar's brother made Dean look at him with different eyes. Then he turned back at Jo. "Balthazar's here?" he sounded surprised and concerned.

"He's inside talking to my mom."

"Well then..." Dean got up from his seat and took a step back. "I'm outie." He walked out of the bar and into the cold rain.

Jo kept staring at the door with a confused look for a while after Dean left. Castiel wondered who Dean was and how did he know Balthazar. Possibly from the bar, but Castiel's senses told him there was more than that.

Balthazar didn't take long to return. Five minutes later, and he appeared at the bar, stepping behind Castiel who was still sat on the round chair. "Everything's settled," he said to Castiel and Jo, who had been packing beers in the fridge and had just sat on the first chair after the corner the counter made, two chairs away from Castiel, drinking a beer.

"May I ask you something?" Jo asked but gave time for Balthazar to reply. "Is there something wrong between you and Dean?"

So Castiel wasn't the only one wondering it.

Balthazar frowned, confused. "No... Why do you ask?"

"Because he was here a few minutes ago flirting with Castiel, and when I told him you were inside he kind of ran with tail between his legs."

Balthazar looked at Castiel who was blushing slightly, but he avoided that subject. He was more concerned about Dean. That wasn't something Dean did, he didn't run away from anyone, why was Dean avoiding him? Then Balthazar remembered the way he talked to Dean before leaving with his mother. Yes, he had been angry with Dean at the time, but it didn't change anything between them; he still considered Dean as his friend. Did Dean think the other way? Or was it another matter the reason of Dean's odd behaviour?

"I'll talk to him," Balthazar decided.

"Yes, I think you should," Jo agreed with a worried expression. Then she stood up, pulled out a notebook and a pen from under the counter and leafed through it. "As you're leaving, and to let a mark in the bar, I let you name my newest creation." The book had the recipes of Jo's cocktails.

"Me?" Balthazar seemed surprised. "Um, I don't know." He paused for a second. "Why don't you name it after yourself?" he suggested.

"Because that's too self-promoting," Jo replied. "Besides, there's already the JBH." The JBH was the first cocktail Jo invented and she named it with the initials of her name, Joanna Beth Harvelle. "Just give me another name."

Balthazar sighed. "Fine." He thought for a moment, remembering the taste of the drink, the pleasant sweetness that got stuck in his mouth for while. He could almost still taste it, if it wasn't the freshness of the lime, that made you want to drink another glass. It could be a little addictive. "Cassie," he replied to Jo.

Castiel looked at him suddenly with wide eyes but tried not to make a sound that could possibly make Jo question. Was Balthazar really naming the drink after him?

Balthazar noticed Castiel's staring and he looked at his lover with a confident smile.

Jo thought about it for a second. "Sweet Cassie?" she suggested.

"It does have a nice ring to it."

"Okay, I like it." Jo smiled and wrote the name on the top of the page on her book. Then she closed the book and turned back to Balthazar. "Well, it was great having you here... But good things end fast, right?"

Castiel certainly hoped not. She smiled, but it was a sad smile.

"Two years was fast?" That was how long Balthazar worked there, probably a few more months. There were days that seemed like he was there for ages, a long time longing for home.

"Well, it was two good years." Jo remembered the times they all gathered, she, Balthazar, Ash, Dean, Sam sometimes joined them as well as Ellen. It had been good moments of music, drinks and laughers; moments were everyone forgot of their personal problems, at least for minute. She was brought back to the reality when she noticed a tear forming in her left eye.

"Jo..." Balthazar said with a soft voice, stepping forward.

Jo took a deep breath. "Don't expect me to cry for you." She was a tough girl, she worked on a bar and she was ready kick the ass of any man who started a fight in her bar. She had to keep that reputation. "But we're gonna miss you."

She stared at Balthazar for a moment, fighting the sad feelings. _Screw it!, _she decided. No woman is always made of iron. In two short steps Jo reached him and hugged Balthazar.

Castiel watched them hugging. It was a friendly hug, but still, something bad clenched on Castiel throat.

After a few seconds Jo gently pulled away, Balthazar left a kiss in her cheek in the process. Her eyes were shiny but the smile wasn't so forced.

"Say goodbye to Ash for me," Balthazar asked.

"Sure." She nodded.

Then Jo looked at Castiel who was already standing up with his trench coat folded on his arm. "Goodbye, Castiel. It was nice meeting you."

"You too," Castiel replied. "Goodbye."

Balthazar and Castiel left the Harvelle's bar. It was no longer raining outside but it shouldn't take long to start again. They went to Balthazar's grey car and he drove them to the apartment.

On the way Castiel asked about Dean and Balthazar said he had been living with him and his brother Sam. He also shared a small part of their hard past. It wasn't Balthazar's right to talk about his friends' life, but he had to explain a few things to his brother. So he merely said that Sam and Dean's parents had died, that they didn't have much luck with foster parents and that they ran away. And the three of them had helped each other.

They arrived in less than 10 minutes to an older zone of the city and away from the centre. The buildings weren't very tall and were almost all degraded; they were grey with several dark stains on them. The whole place was old, dark and sad.

Balthazar stopped the car in front of the building of the apartment where he lived. They entered by the metallic front door and went up the stairs to the second floor. The apartment was on the right side and Balthazar took the key out of his pocket and opened the wooded and creaky door. Castiel walk in first and he looked around the place. At least the apartment inside wasn't as bad as he expected, judging by building outside. It had the basic furniture and a little decoration that gave the living room a cheerful look.

Balthazar passed across him after closing the door, and Castiel followed him to the kitchen. Balthazar knocked on the open door and the boy at the table, who seemed to be studying, looked up at them. The boy took off the earphones that were attached to an old MP3. It wasn't exactly old, it had three years old at the most, but in terms of technologic evolution, it was almost an antique.

"Balthazar..." the boy said with a smile on his face as he stood up.

Castiel found the boy with a long light brown hair to be about his age, although he was taller than him.

"Hi, Sammy." Balthazar matched his friend's smile. He noticed Sam's eyes fall upon Castiel, while they came closer. "This is my brother," he introduced.

Castiel was starting to get used to the introductions. "Hi. I'm Castiel," he said with a nice voice and reached a hand.

Sam took it. "Pleasure." Then he looked at Balthazar. "And for the thousand time, it's Sam," he said, glaring at him.

Balthazar chuckled. "I know. I just wanted to hear you say that."

Sam rolled his eyes. Balthazar knew well he didn't like to be called Sammy - only Dean called him that- but sometimes Balthazar kept calling him that just to tease him. At least it meant he was in a good mood, so Sam smiled afterwards.

Castiel remembered the when Balthazar started calling him 'Cassie'. He didn't like it; it was a girl's name and his friends at school made fun of him. So he was always correcting Balthazar and asking him to stop calling him that. But it was no use, Balthazar didn't listen to him. As they grew up, Castiel got used to the name, and rather enjoyed it because no one else, except sometimes his mother, called him that.

"So, you're leaving?" Sam asked. "I mean, for good?"

Sam was a shrewd boy and usually straightforward, but sensitive at the same time.

"Yes," Balthazar answered seriously. "That is my intention."

"Okay..." Sam said in a soft voice.

And there was that look again, like he saw on Jo; the understanding of the mind, expressed in unconscious short and slow nods, but the sorrow of the soul. Sam's green eyes almost asked him to stay, although he knew Sam would never say it because it would seem selfish.

Balthazar looked down and he saw at the messy table with two books open, a notebook partially on top of one of the books and a few pages around. "Busy time at school?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Yes." The first trimester was ending and evaluation started. "I actually have a maths' test tomorrow." Sam sat back on the chair and sighed in frustration.

"Do you need help?" Balthazar knew Sam was a good student and he rarely any difficulties at homework or tests, but even the best students sometimes needed an aid.

"Well, I'm kind of stuck on an exercise..." Sam looked at him with a suspicious gaze. "But I doubt you have the solution," he remarked nicely.

Balthazar smiled. Sam was right. There had been a time where he had helped Sam with homework... but it was over. "No, I don't." Balthazar wasn't a great student; he had median grades, a couple of higher grades on his favourite disciplines, but it was nothing compared to Castiel's excellent scholar curriculum. Suddenly Balthazar had an idea and glanced at Castiel. "But Cassie might."

Castiel met Balthazar's look with surprised wide eyes. After a quick and silent conversation between them, Castiel was convinced. "I wouldn't mind helping you," he said to Sam. Sam nodded and Castiel came closer and sat on the chair next to him. Sam showed him the book with the exercise and then what he had already solved on his notebook.

While the boys seemed to be working on it, Balthazar silently sneaked out to his bedroom to pack the rest of his things. The apartment only had two bedrooms; his and the one Sam and Dean shared. Balthazar thought that one of them would like to have his own room, but apparently they didn't want it any other way. Balthazar thought it was probably an old habit that started when they were in the orphanage, alone, and now they couldn't sleep too far from each other. Old habits die hard.

The first thing Castiel realised about Sam was that he was very smart. The exercises he had been doing were the hardest he had ever seen and even Castiel had to take some time to understand it and also to remember what he had learned in the 10th grade. Once he figured it out it was easy to explain Sam how it was done; he understood it very quickly. After that, Sam also asked him about other matters. It was an easy ice breaking.

After ten minutes, Balthazar had everything in gym bag; a few clothes and some books and CD's between other things. When he walked out of the room he glanced at the kitchen and saw Castiel and Sam quietly chatting about what was written in the book they attentively stared at, each of them with a pencil in hand. He knew Castiel would like that; he liked teaching, explaining and helping others. And Sam... Well, Balthazar liked to see the easy smile on his face. His life was already hard, he had already lost a school year one of times he was adopted by wrong people and the adaption to the high school wasn't easy either. Sam needed to take his mind off of the concerns in his life, even for a little while, it was good for him. And Castiel seemed to be doing that.

With a smile, Balthazar got out of the apartment and took the bag to his car. When he returned, he went to the kitchen. "How is it going?" he asked, resting his hands on the top of a chair back.

The boys looked up at him. "I think it's going well," Castiel replied.

"Yes," Sam agreed.

"Okay. So, I already took my things to the car. But Sam, I leave you my laptop."

"Really?" Sam eyes widened. "No... I can't-"

"Just take it. It was more yours than mine anyway." Balthazar replied with a convincing tone. He let Sam use it for school works and whatever Sam liked. But Dean... he was forbidden to touch his laptop. "Just don't let Dean watch porn in it or it will be frozen again."

Sam chuckled, remembering the time Dean worriedly went to him asking to help unfrozen Balthazar's laptop. Obviously he couldn't do it and Balthazar found out. "I can't promise anything." They didn't have much things, and Sam's things were Dean's things, and vice versa. If Dean wanted to use the laptop it was going to be hard to stop him. "But if that happens again, at least we know Ash can fix it." Ash had been the one who fixed the computer before.

While Sam and Castiel concluded the study, Balthazar made pancakes for them in a few minutes. The pancakes were simple, there weren't other ingredients in the house, but they still were appreciated. When they finished, it was almost 6pm and Balthazar wondered when Dean would return home. He only had to go to work on the bar at 8pm and, in days like this, he was usually home at this hour. Balthazar went to the living room where Sam and Castiel were sat on the couch watching something on the old television with poor quality. He noticed Sam looking at the watch on his wrist and a concerned expression formed on his face.

"Dean went somewhere?" Balthazar asked, trying to find a reason for Dean's delay.

Sam shook his head. "I don't know..." he replied with a low voice.

"How has he been, by the way?" Balthazar remembered the odd incident at the bar earlier.

"Hum... The usual." Sam answered, shifting a little on the couch.

The usual for Dean wasn't considered good and the uncomfortable look on Sam's face made Balthazar suspicious. "Sam?" He raised an eye to the younger boy.

That was all it took for Sam to realise he had been caught and give up trying to lie to Balthazar. Sam sighed and looked down. "He's... maybe a little worse." Sam lightened the subject, hiding what he really thought about Dean.

"Worse, how?"

"Er... More drinks. More girls. Less time at home..." he explained worriedly.

Balthazar nodded in understanding. "Any idea why?"

Sam shook his head and looked down, but Balthazar could see on his face that he knew something. "Sam," Balthazar called and the young boy looked back at him. "Tell me."

Sam stared at him for a while, debating internally whether to tell or not. At last, Balthazar managed to convince him. "Dean has been with a lot of girls, but never more than one night. You know why, don't you?"

Balthazar nodded. "Because Dean's allergic to feelings." In Dean's one night stands only short-lasting emotions and physical pleasure were involved, there were no more permanent feelings.

"More than feelings. He's allergic to relationships. He doesn't build one and he always tries to stay away from one. Because..." Sam paused. "Dean thinks everyone will end up leaving him."

"And I'm just proving him right," Balthazar suddenly realized. Then a shade of guilt appeared on his face as he looked away. The strongest relationship Dean had besides the one he had with Sam was with him. When they first met, Dean didn't like him and in the first months they lived together Dean was wary on him, but after a year he and Dean became friends and Dean trusted him. But Balthazar knew he was more that to Dean. Dean's job and purpose on life was to take care of Sam, but he also ended up taking care of Balthazar. Balthazar was only one year younger than Dean but Dean still felt somewhat responsible for him. Balthazar wasn't just a friend to Sam and Dean; he was their brother.

Balthazar really needed to speak to Dean.

He sat down on the couch between Sam and Castiel. He rested a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder and then they leaned back on the couch watching TV. Castiel grabbed Balthazar's hand discreetly and Balthazar entwined his fingers on his lover's consoling hand until Dean returned.

Dean came in 15 minutes later. "Dean," Sam breathed, glad to see his brother.

Dean stared a few moments at the three people in the house. "Still here?" he said a bit harshly to Balthazar.

"Yes." Balthazar stood up. "I was waiting for you."

"Why?" He asked with slight disdain.

"To ask why you have been avoiding me."

"What makes you think that?" That was Dean's usual evasive move.

"Dean!" If with Sam a soft voice and a pleading look worked for the boy to tell him anything he was hiding, Dean only talked the truth when he was angry.

"Oh I don't know," he said ironically. "First I insult your mother, then I hit on your brother" He waved a hand at Castiel. "I haven't been exactly the friend of the year lately!"

Balthazar frowned. Did Dean think he was leaving because of him? "Dean..." Balthazar took a step towards him. "I'm not mad at you because of that," he said in a soft voice.

"You sure? Because last time-"

"You overstepped the line." Balthazar pointed a finger at him. "I set you back on the heels." He pointed at himself. "It was harsh, but it's over. We forget about it and we move on. As if it never happened."

Dean stopped and eyed him for a moment. "So... we're cool?" he asked still uncertain.

Balthazar smiled slightly. "Yes, we're cool."

There was a moment of silence. Dean looked at Castiel, but not in the flirtation way as before, this time Dean seemed a bit sad, and then he turned to Balthazar. "So, this is it. ET goes home?"

"I'm not going to another planet..." Balthazar tried to not sound so bad.

"Yeah, whatever," Dean replied. That was the sign that Dean didn't to talk about that subject, like he didn't talk about any sensitive matter. He took a deep breath and put on a little smile. "So can you finally break the mystery and tell us why the hell you ever left home?"

Balthazar opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it again. As a reflex he glanced at Castiel who looked apprehensive and surprised by the quick change of subject. Now that he and Castiel were together, it didn't feel so wrong to admit his love. But Balthazar felt it was too soon to reveal their relationship, he was still afraid of what people would say. Sam and Dean were his trusted friends, but Balthazar still wasn't ready to trust them with this information.

During the silence Balthazar create, Sam spoke. "Actually, I already know."

"What?" Dean replied in surprise.

"You do?" Balthazar said at the same time with a concerned expression.

Suddenly everyone's attention was on Sam. "...Yes."

"Since when?!" Dean asked, totally confused.

"Since today," Sam replied calmly. "Well, if I think about it I've known for a while, but today was when I had the confirmation."

"You're bluffing!" Dean accused.

Sam frowned as if offended. "I am not."

"Then tell me," Dean dared him.

But Sam didn't fell for it. "It isn't my place to tell, Dean."

It could have been just for curiosity or maybe to take advantage and let someone else do what it was difficult for him to say. "You can say it, Sam," Balthazar intervened.

Sam looked at him to make sure he was talking seriously, while Dean seemed pleased and Castiel a bit worried. "Tell us what you found out," Dean insisted again.

Sam took some time before speaking, thinking. "Well..." It seemed like for Sam it wasn't very easy either. "Balthazar is in love with Castiel."

Holy hell, Sam really figured it out.

"What?!" Dean asked, confused. "I thought you were brothers." He looked between Balthazar and Castiel.

"That's why Balthazar left," Sam explained.

"Oh," Dean said, and then he stood for a while thinking about it. "Wait, Sam's right? What he said is true?" he asked to Balthazar.

Balthazar couldn't figure out exactly what Dean's loud tone implied and it made Balthazar reconsider his answer for a moment. But, in the end, he went with the truth. "It is."

"Noo..." Dean breathed, disappointed.

"Yes!" Sam exclaimed at the same time with victorious voice.

Balthazar and Castiel looked blankly between the brothers, confused about their opposite reactions. Sam grinned while Dean seemed upset.

After a moment Sam noticed the others' perplexity. "Dean and I made a bet of which one of us would figure out your secret first," he explained looking at Balthazar. "Now you got to pay, Dean" he said, smirking at his brother.

"Hold down your horses, Sammy. First things first." Dean said and then he turned to Balthazar. "What?! You've been in this piece of crap apartment with two jerks-"

"Speak for yourself," Sam muttered along Dean's sentence.

"for three years because you had a crush on your brother?" he finished with an incredulous voice. He shook his head quickly a couple of times. "I'll never understand you, man."

"When you say it like that, it seems like a stupid reason," Balthazar admitted in a low voice.

"Yeah, because it was," Dean pointed out.

Balthazar remembered how hard were the days at home before he left, to be around Castiel and hiding his pure and twisted feelings for the young boy. "For me it wasn't."

"So now what, you guys are like, together?" Dean asked looking between Balthazar and Castiel.

"Yes." Glancing at Castiel, an unconscious smile formed on Balthazar's face.

"Still, I'm not paying anything until you explain how you figured it out," Dean said to his brother.

"Yes, I'd also like to know," Balthazar encouraged.

"Remember that time you got him drunk?" Sam asked to his brother.

"_I_ got him drunk? If I recall it, it was your idea," Dean complained.

"No. I told you to cheer him up." Sam reminded him.

"That's what I did."

Sam shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Anyway..." Then he turned to Balthazar. "You got really talkative while you were drunk."

"I'm so glad I don't remember anything," Balthazar commented. That was the first time he accepted a drink from Dean, that turned out to be several drinks. He woke up with a bad hangover and he swore to never drink again, at least not with Dean.

"Don't worry, all you said was nonsense," Dean commented with a grin, remembering the way Balthazar talked so fast and expressive that no one could understand a thing he was saying.

"Yes," Sam agreed seriously. "But between your mumblings and Dean's laughs one thing got through. A name; Cassie."

"Oh yes, I remember wondering who that Cassie girl was," Dean added.

"And that was your first mistake, because Cassie wasn't a girl. Cassie is a nickname for Castiel," Sam explained. Castiel was blushing but fortunately no one was looking at him. "That was the part I only found out today."

"I can't believe you remember something that happened two years ago," Balthazar said to Sam in astonishment.

"That wasn't the only time you inadvertently said his name," Sam explained. "Did you know that sometimes you talk in your sleep?"

Balthazar nodded. Yes, he knew he had somniloquy, ever since he was a kid, but now it didn't happen so frequently. At least when he was at home it didn't; Castiel or his parents mentioned it in the morning every time that happened. Had it been happening more often since he left home? Had he ever said embarrassing things?

"Now everything makes sense," Dean intervened. "I heard you sleep-talking once, you were murmuring Cassie's name and" he spoke with a smile. Apparently knowing Castiel sometimes was called Cassie, amused Dean. "well, I couldn't figure out if you were having a nightmare or a wet dream." Dean was clearly messing with him. "I guess now I know."

Now it was Balthazar who was also blushing.

"Now that I proved it, can you pay me Dean?" Sam stretched a hand to his brother.

"I would love to," he replied ironically. "But I don't have the money right now." Dean took the wallet out of his jean's pocket and showed it empty.

Of course he didn't. Dean had probably spent it on drinks and cigarettes. "Fine. Forget the money," Sam said and Dean smirked, pleased. "But you have to do whatever I want for a week."

Dean's wining expression faded instantly. "What?!" he complained.

"You heard me." Sam tried to hide a satisfied grin. "Deal's a deal, Dean."

Dean stared at him for a moment, not believing. "Oh, come on." Then he looked at Balthazar asking to help him.

"Dean, it's better if I stay out of this. Because if I don't, I'm going to choose Sam's side," Balthazar said.

"Keep your mouth shut, then" Dean replied. Then he looked at his pain-in-the-ass little brother. "Fine, I do whatever you say." Sam smiled at Dean frowned, almost pouty, face. "Bitch…"

"Jerk," Sam replied warmly.

Balthazar was smiling, enjoying the brothers' friendly fight.

Then a phone rang. It was Castiel's phone and he had gotten a text. Castiel read it and then gave Balthazar a few distinctive looks and Balthazar understood the message was from their mother who was probably asking when they were coming home. Balthazar looked at his watch; it was 6:15pm. It was getting late because they wanted to arrive home before dinner and they still had at least an hour drive until they got there.

"Time to go, huh?" Dean commented.

"Yeah…" Balthazar approached Dean. "Behave yourself, Dean." The handshake soon turned into a friendly goodbye hug.

"Yeah, yeah. Live long and prosper." Dean made the gesture with his hand.

In the meanwhile Castiel said farewell to Sam with a nice exchange of words and a warm handshake. Then Balthazar walked to Sam. "I know what you intend to do to Dean," he whispered to Sam. It was obvious that one of the things Sam was going to ask of Dean while he had power over him was to stop drinking, maybe even preventing him from getting out so much.

"Is it wrong?" Sam asked a bit worried. Dean was going to be so pissed at him… What if that caused problems between them?

"No," Balthazar assured him. "But it's not going to be easy."

"I know…" It was going to be a tough week.

"If you need anything, call me, okay Sammy?"

Sam nodded and smiled slightly. "Thanks…" The eyes of the tall teenager became bright and full of sentiments, and it made him look younger. Dean called it Sam's puppy dog eyes. Sam came forward and hugged Balthazar, tighter that Dean did. "For everything."

No matter how close he and Dean were, there were things that Sam didn't tell his older brother, some things that he rather talk to someone else, and that someone was usually Balthazar. It was usually personal feeling about his parents or things that happened in the orphanage, things that would only upset Dean, and Balthazar always seemed to understand him and sometimes he gave him an advice. Balthazar also had taught him a lot of things, not only about school matters but also about life. He was, in the end, another big brother. And Sam was grateful for that.

Balthazar passed a hand through Sam's long hair. After a moment they pulled apart. "Take care, Sam."

Sam had teary eyes. It was a strange mix of sadness for Balthazar departing and happiness caused by the good memories his friend left in him.

Close by Dean was chatting with Castiel near the door. "So no heart feelings about earlier," Dean said in a tone of a question.

"No." Castiel showed him a small smile.

"You know, now I understand why you were totally not into me," Dean felt at ease to comment it.

"Were you worried your irresistibility had suddenly disappeared?" Castiel asked with such a straight face that Dean was surprised. Only the small lift of the corner of his lip at the end of the sentence made Dean realize Castiel was joking.

Dean chuckled a little. "Are you saying that I'm still irresistible?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, stop flirting." Balthazar came next to Castiel and put a hand on his back. It was a subtle possessive gesture that Balthazar unconsciously did without realizing why.

"He started." Dean pointed to Castiel, defending himself.

Balthazar looked at Castiel and met his hypnotic blue eyes that showed only love for him. He felt like he could be staring at them all night.

Dean cleared his throat and looked at Balthazar. "So if, for some reason, things don't work out again - and I'm not saying I wish they do- I just want you to know you can always come back."

For a moment Balthazar got suspicious if the whole statement was true. He noticed Dean's melancholic look and maybe even a hint of jealousy. "Yes, I know."

After that, Castiel and Balthazar left the apartment. The drive home was more silent than the trip to the town Balthazar had lived in; the radio was still playing but the boys didn't talk much. They arrived home within an hour, although the silence in the car made it seem longer. Balthazar stopped the car in their propriety, in front of the closed garage door. Balthazar turned to Castiel who was looking out the window. He seemed distracted. In fact, he had seemed distracted during the whole trip.

"Cas," Balthazar called in a soft voice. "What is it?" There was definitely something upsetting him.

Castiel turned his head to him slowly, thoughtfully. "Are you sure you want to come back home?"

"What?!"

Yes, of course he was sure. Where did that question come from? How could Cas still question that? He reason he took Castiel with him to get the rest of his things, the small things that still tied him to that city, was to prove that he was coming back home, definitely, and wasn't going back there or anywhere else.

"When I asked you to come back, I didn't realize you had built a life elsewhere. That you had people who care about you and need you." Going there made Castiel see how important Balthazar was to his friends, especially to Sam and Dean.

"Well, this may sound a bit selfish, but I decided to go after what I need," Balthazar said in a convicted voice. "And I need you…" He put a soothing hand on Castiel's soft cheek, while staring into his dark blue eyes. "More than anyone else in the world," he whispered as he went closer and kissed Castiel's sweet lips.

Balthazar kissed him until any possible doubts in Castiel's mind was gone. It didn't take such a long time as Balthazar thought it would to change Castiel's mind, but he continued kissing him anyway until, when they parted, there was a bright smile on Castiel's face that Balthazar completely adored.

They stepped out of the car, entered the house and had a nice dinner with their parents.


	5. I'm Yours

Chapter 5: I'm Yours

For the rest of the week, Balthazar finished the adaptation to his old house, the one he wasn't going to leave again. Castiel also seemed to realize that, because he was more affectionate all the time, stealing sweet kisses, unexpected tight hugs and sneaking into Balthazar's bed in the middle of the night (Balthazar only knew about it when he woke up with Castiel snuggled on him).

Balthazar called a couple of times to Sam during the week (Dean wouldn't answer him) to know how they were. Balthazar was surprised to know Dean was actually better, a bit grumpier than usually, but he didn't drink so much (Sam didn't let him) and didn't seem to be so affected by Balthazar's leaving. Balthazar was happy for them. Everything was falling into place.

On Sunday night Mary and John had a dinner with friends. It had been a long time since they saw each other, so the couple invited Mary and John for a dinner at their house. They also invited Castiel, but if he went, Balthazar also had to go and they still hadn't told anyone Balthazar had return. And Castiel didn't want to go; he'd rather stay at home with Balthazar that night.

Before Mary and John left the house, both well dressed in classy outfits, Mary left the dinner for the boys prepared in the kitchen. While Castiel finished studying for an upcoming test, Balthazar went to the kitchen, searching for ingredients to make a dessert for them. There wasn't anything special in the pantry but he managed to make something with what he found. He made individual desserts on glass cups where he made layers of crumbled biscuits, natural yogurt, bits of meringue and a sauce with raspberries. It wasn't anything spectacular, but he hoped Castiel liked it.

Soon Castiel came down, starving and asking for dinner. Balthazar heated the prepared plates with spaghetti Bolognese and a few vegetable mixed in it. Castiel ate it rather quickly, because he was hungry and that was one of his favorite dishes. Later, Balthazar surprised him with the unexpected colorful dessert that Castiel ate slower while they chatted cheerfully. When they finished, they put the tableware in the dishwasher machine.

Then they went to the living room. "So, how was it?" Balthazar asked as he sat down on the comfy (and expensive) couch, curious to know what Castiel thought about the dessert.

Castiel sat right next to him. "Delicious," he answered with a bright smile that only got brighter as Castiel leaned against him and kissed his neck. "Just like you." The soft murmur was intentionally seductive.

Balthazar had learned that Castiel enjoyed teasing him, only to make him act on it. "Cas, if you want something you just have to ask." Balthazar met Castiel's deep blue eyes.

Castiel's little flirty smile vanished for a moment as he nodded. Then Castiel, supporting himself on the back of the couch, passed a leg to the other side of Balthazar and sat on his lap. "I want you to make love to me." A warm shiver ran down Balthazar's spine, caused by Castiel's request and his soft fingers tracing his neck. "I mean fully. Not just handjobs," Castiel continued with a serious tone while his hands travelled down to Balthazar's chest. "I want you inside me." He griped Balthazar's sweater in a desperate motion.

Balthazar was in shock, totally dumbstruck; mouth hanging half-open and eyes locked on Castiel. Castiel wasn't teasing him, not even one bit, he was being totally honest, and _damn_ if that didn't turn him on.

For a moment Balthazar wasn't able to say anything after hearing the words he never thought he would hear from Castiel's mouth.

"Balthazar," Castiel called him, waiting for an answer.

Balthazar was brought back to reality and blinked a few times as his brain started working again. He smirked. "Your wishes are orders to me, Cassie."

Castiel smiled, pleased and kissed Balthazar immediately, with a hand on the back of Balthazar's neck. Balthazar held Castiel's waist tight to slow him down and kept kissing him softly. Soon Castiel melted into the unhurried rhythm and they both gradually speeded it up at the same time. The frequent warm touch of their wet tongues sent hot waves through their bodies while they held each other. But that wasn't enough, they needed more. Castiel spread his legs wider and Balthazar, with hands on his lover's legs, pulled him closer until their bodies were touching completely, and they hummed in pleasure while their heartbeats fastened.

After a while they pulled apart, panting. "We better move things upstairs," Balthazar suggested in a lower voice that he expected while he examined Castiel's red lips and flustered cheeks.

Castiel got off of him and grabbing Balthazar's hand, pulled him up too. With a big smile on his face Castiel leaded the way to Balthazar's bedroom in a quick step. As soon as Balthazar closed the door after entering, Castiel pushed him against it and captured his sweet lips again eagerly. His hands travelled up under Balthazar's grey sweater, trying to undress it and touch directly his lover's warm skin. Balthazar let him and aided him while Castiel took off two layers of clothes, the sweater and a t-shirt underneath, at once. He leaned closer once again against the smooth skin and kissed Balthazar's neck.

With arms around Castiel's back, Balthazar leaded them toward the bed in short steps while Castiel intended to leave a red mark on him. Balthazar pulled away for an instance to open the bed and push down the covers (he didn't want the quilt their mother made for him to get stains). Castiel noticed how warm he was, he was starting to sweat, even though it was winter and house wasn't particularly temperate. He started to strip off his clothes, one after another, and soon he was only in underwear and the other clothes were spread on the floor.

Balthazar stared at him with lusty eyes and a pleased smirk. He used to feel ashamed before, of how he felt when he saw Castiel naked, but now he didn't repress the sexy thoughts that came to his mind.

Before Castiel noticed him staring, Balthazar picked him up and laid him on the bed. Even thought Castiel was surprised by it, he quickly melted into Balthazar's tasty lips. Balthazar was on his knees bent over Castiel's naked body laid in a horizontal position, kissing him deeply. But it didn't last long, after a couple of seconds Balthazar got up, took off his pants and shoes and finally settled himself between Castiel's soft legs. The younger boy passed a hand through his blond hair and pulled their mouths together into an intense and passionate kiss that left them both moaning softly.

Balthazar kissed lover's neck as he brought their hips together and Castiel gasped in pleasure, feeling the electric warm spread through his legs. He kept kissing and licking the soft neck, Balthazar felling Castiel's fast heartbeat on his tongue while he shivered underneath him, in pleasure caused by the touches in all the right places. After leaving a red hickey on the creamy skin, Balthazar sat back on his knees and removed the last piece of fabric on Castiel. He met Castiel's eyes, dark and full of desire, while he passed his hand on the soft thighs. He could say something… but he didn't need to. He didn't need words; they understood each other well only by sharing looks and Balthazar knew his little Cassie was enjoying every single touch.

Balthazar settled down again, supported on his forearms with hands holding Castiel's sides, and kissed his fast rise-and-falling chest. He licked one of the sensitive nipples and Castiel brought a quick hand to the back of his head to make Balthazar keep touching him there, but he stubbornly went down after a while. Balthazar passed across the abdomen, leaving a trail of kisses, until he reached Castiel's cock, hardening on his belly. Balthazar kissed the tip and licked the length.

Castiel shivered again and moaned. "Balthazar…" The trembling murmur was a protest. That wasn't what Castiel wanted.

Balthazar looked up. "Don't worry, Cassie. You'll get everything you deserve."

Balthazar's wet lips reflected the moonlight and shined in the dark room and Castiel had a sudden urge to kiss them again. But when Balthazar licked his cock again and a pleasant warmth started to form in his belly, he forgot about it.

After a while, when Castiel was continuously making loving sounds of pleasure, Balthazar rose up and gave a quick kiss on his lover's lips before opening a drawer of the nightstand and took out a bottle of lubricant. Castiel followed the movement of Balthazar hand with his eyes until he realized what his lover was holding.

Balthazar met Castiel's dilated but anxious eyes. "Are you sure about this?"

Castiel looked into the trustful light blue sky eyes and nodded quickly. "Yes."

Balthazar gave him a long and deep kiss before backing away. On his knees between Castiel bent legs, Balthazar spread a good amount of the cool gel on his fingers. He slicked the spot, while he rested a soothing hand on Castiel's thigh. "Relax," he whispered. Castiel didn't seem particularly tense, but better safe than sorry.

Castiel took a few deep breaths. But he wasn't the only one; Balthazar also tried to calm his throbbing heart, he had to focus on Castiel and forget his personal needs. Staring at Castiel, alert to any discomfort he might feel, Balthazar inserted a finger, very slowly. Castiel gasped at first, but soon he adapted to the new sensation. Balthazar pulled out gently, and then back in. After repeating the movement a few times, Balthazar noticed Castiel beginning to enjoy it. He smiled to himself, pleased with his work. Balthazar leaned forward to kiss his beautiful lover.

Five minutes later, Balthazar added another finger gently and Castiel hissed in discomfort, but he managed to kiss it better and turn the pain in pleasure. After a while Castiel was gasping and moaning and murmuring for more. Balthazar wanted to take things slow; it was Castiel's first time. But the fact Castiel was a virgin, that he was the first (and Balthazar would make sure he was the only one) to touch him so intimately, ignited the fire of lust inside him.

When Balthazar thought it was time, he joined a third finger. Castiel was so high from the delightful touches, kisses and licks, he barely noticed the difference. He just gripped Balthazar tighter, leaving light scratches on his back, and hummed to his ear while Balthazar sucked another red mark on his chest. Minutes later, when Castiel's muscles were stretched enough, Balthazar sat back and removed his fingers. Castiel whimpered, face flustered, body shaking and covered with red marks, and his cock erected and leaking. An obscenely beautiful image.

Balthazar found out Castiel wasn't the only in that state when he removed his wet underwear. He sat on the bed, perpendicularly to Castiel. "Come here," he asked in a husky voice.

Castiel got up on his knees and walked to Balthazar on trembling legs, numb with pleasure. Balthazar put an arm around his lover's sweaty torso and sat him on his lap while Castiel laced his arms around his neck. "Ready, Cassie?" Balthazar murmured, holding Castiel's face with a soft hand and looking into his eyes.

Castiel just kissed him on his jaw before lifting himself up. Balthazar lined up his cock and let Castiel sink down on him, gave him the control and let him take his time. After a few ups and downs, Castiel went all the way down. They both shuddered and moaned softly while the electrical pleasure travelled through their bodies.

Castiel closed his eyes. That new sensation, the new warm he felt inside and washed over him was completely overwhelming. The emotional connection they shared became also physical, and now their relationship couldn't become deeper than this. It was so wonderful, so perfect that Castiel was afraid to lose it. He feared this was the only time he'd feel something almost too marvelous to be true. He feared losing Balthazar again.

"Cas…"A concerned voice made him open his eyes and he realized he had tears ready to fall. "You're okay?"

He didn't know; he had so many intense feelings in his heart and body. "Balthazar…" he whispered in a half-breathless voice. "I- I love you. I need you. And I don't want us to be apart ever again. Not by a week, a day, an hour…" his voice broke and tears fell. Castiel would be like this with Balthazar forever if he could.

Balthazar held Castiel face with tender hands. "That's not going to happen," he tried to calm him, looking at the shiny blue eyes. "If anything or anyone comes between us… I promise I'll fight. For you. For us." There was a short nod from Castiel and then Balthazar kissed him lovingly, showing how much he meant it. He had run before, had hid himself and his feelings, because he thought he'd be fighting a lost battle. But he was wrong; he had a lot to fight for, and now that he had the most important thing in his life, he was not going to give that up. Never.

Castiel hid his head in his lover's shoulder while Balthazar wrapped his arms around him, pressing him against his chest and running a calming hand up and down his back. He'd wait as long as necessary, even stop completely, just to bring his smiling Cassie back.

Castiel recovered from his breakdown faster than Balthazar expected. Soon he was moving his hips determinately back and forward, withdrawing Balthazar's luxury. "_Cas,_" Balthazar tremblingly gasped at the sudden pleasure. "_Ngh…_" He bit down his bottom lip.

Castiel moved the head away from his shoulder and looked at him with a flirting smile. Before Balthazar could do or say anything, his lover moved up and down his cock, and they moaned quietly in lust. Castiel put on a rhythm and Balthazar followed it with hands on Castiel's thighs, while he occasionally stole hot kisses from the love of his life. The rhythm became faster and the warm friction Castiel got from rubbing against Balthazar's abdomen soon became too much. Castiel reached the ecstasy with a silent cry and a shudder while creamy white love fluid painted his and Balthazar's torsos.

Balthazar followed him right after; the strong pleasure caused by Castiel's muscles clenching around him made a blissful whine escape from his lips. He gripped Castiel's hips tight, carving his nails on the fiery skin, while Castiel kept moving slower through his orgasm. They held each other tightly, Castiel laid a tired head on Balthazar's sweaty shoulder and Balthazar passed a gentle hand through his lover's messy dark hair, breathing heavily into each other's neck until their hearts resumed to a normal state.

When they became calmer, Castiel started giving light kisses on his neck. Balthazar turned his head to his lover until their lips fused into a gentle and loving kiss. Balthazar shifted their sensitive bodies and laid Castiel on the mattress under him. Balthazar broke the physical connection they still had and the still warm fluid ran down Castiel thighs while the younger boy shivered a little. Balthazar brushed their noses together affectionately and then kissed Castiel's forehead causing the younger lover to close his eyes, still enjoying the profound after-effect of the wonderful lovemaking.

Castiel opened his eyes when Balthazar started cleaning him with a soft towel that he hadn't seen it in the room until now. If Castiel was the one who had dreamt about this for the past months, Balthazar was the one ready for it. When he finished, he pulled the covers over them and cuddled to Castiel with an arm around his waist and hand over his, with fingers enlaced together. It was still early, it wasn't even 10pm, but after the long (longer than half hour) and intense intimacy, they quickly fell asleep.

In the morning, Castiel woke up early, not much light came through the yet window and it was raining. He felt Balthazar behind him, breathing softly into his neck, still with a hand over his belly. Castiel gently moved away from Balthazar a little and laid on his back. Balthazar kept sleeping.

After a while Castiel thought about getting up, maybe in going to the bathroom. He pulled an arm from under the covers and pushed them to side, uncovering himself, but then the cold air of winter hit his naked body. He looked back at Balthazar, missing his warm and comfort, and decided to not leave the bed. Instead he pulled up the covers again, leaned to the soft body of his lover and stood in the warm bed while he heard the rain fall outside.

Only a quarter of hour later, Balthazar woke up to sight of beautiful sapphire blue eyes staring at him. "Good morning," Castiel told him with a bright smile.

Balthazar smiled. "Good morning, my dear angel." He kissed Castiel's warm lips softly. "My gorgeous loverboy," he continued in whispered voice while he passed a gentle hand over Castiel's torso.

Castiel giggled and laughed a bit. Balthazar pulled back. "What?" he asked in confusion, looking at Castiel's smiley face. "What is it?"

"You," Castiel replied with loving eyes. "all sweet this morning." Balthazar rarely called him anything other than 'Cassie', and Castiel was so used to that name that any others sounded a bit strange, but he still enjoyed them.

"I thought I was always sweet," Balthazar commented.

"Well, you're sweeter than the usual." Castiel kissed him again, and what was intended to be a short kiss turned out to be a long series of light kisses and soft touches.

Minutes later, Castiel backed away a little. "We should get up."

"Why?" Balthazar asked. "It's Sunday." There was nothing to do on Sunday, it wasn't like Cas had to get ready for school.

"Yes, but even at Sundays I get hungry." He was awake for half hour now and his belly started grumbling.

Now that Cas mentioned it, he was also becoming hungry. "Fine," Balthazar agreed.

Castiel unlaced from Balthazar's limbs around him and got out of the bed. When he took a few steps, looking for his clothes, he felt an uncomfortable little pain in the nether part of his body and lower back.

Balthazar noticed Castiel's difficulty in walking and quickly figured what was wrong. "Cas," he said in a worried tone while he pulled up a new boxer brief. "are you okay?" Had he been too hard on his little love last night? Had he hurt him?

Balthazar hurried in front of Castiel and held his face with both hands.

"Yes," Castiel replied uncertainly and the concerned light blue eyes kept staring at him. "I'll be fine," he assured Balthazar, placing a hand on one of his lover's arms. He was a bit sore, but it didn't hurt him much. It would pass.

"You're sure you're alright?" Balthazar asked him again.

"Yes," he replied seriously and pulled Balthazar arms down, holding his wrists. Suddenly Castiel shivered. "Maybe a bit cold," he rectified with a little smile.

Still not much convinced, Balthazar stepped back, went to his wardrobe and returned with dark blue-grey robe that he put on Castiel's shoulders. Castiel slipped his arms in the soft sleeves while Balthazar walked around him and finally pulled him into a warm embrace. Castiel grabbed the open sides of the robe and pulled them around Balthazar's back while hugging him at the same time.

After a while Balthazar kissed Castiel's forehead and took a step back. Only then he took a good look at his lover's naked body, with a few marks on the neck, chest and lower abdomen. Those were the physical marks of love he left on Castiel last night, but he hoped he had also left bigger unseen marks on his heart, just like Castiel left on his. Balthazar smiled; the sight appealed him greatly. "You sexy thing…"

Castiel chuckled. "Aren't I always?"

"More than usual," Balthazar imitated Castiel's answer not long ago.

They both grinned, bright eyes full of love.

When the hypnotic effect passed, Balthazar started to look around the room and then he frowned.

"What is it?" Castiel asked.

Balthazar took a second to answer. "Doesn't the room looks… too clean?" Castiel also looked around. In fact the room looked too clean for an after lovemaking place. At least there should be clothes spread on the floor or other places.

Balthazar walked to the desk where their clothes were hanging straight on the back of the chair. "I didn't put the clothes here." His priorities had been others last night. Then Balthazar turned around. "And I'm pretty sure I closed the door last night." Castiel followed his gaze to the slightly open door.

"What are you saying?" Castiel asked, confused.

"I'm saying, someone's been here."

Suddenly Castiel understood what Balthazar meant. "You mean mom and dad…" Did they know? Of course they knew, it was obvious. Castiel gulped. "You think… they're upset with us?" he asked with a concerned look.

Balthazar stepped closer to him. He wanted to say something to assure his lover, but he had doubts. Yes, their parents had been understanding so far, but this was something different and they may not be comfortable with it. "I don't know." But like he had promised to Castiel, if there was a conflict, he'd fight for their relationship. Though he hoped it wasn't necessary.

Castiel decided to take a nice warm shower first and then went to his bedroom to get dressed. Balthazar went next, and after dressing himself with blue jeans and a dark red sweater over a white shirt, he cleaned his room, took the dirty clothes and sheets to wash and put new sheets on the bed. When he went to the kitchen, Castiel was already there, making breakfast, in black tight jeans and a warm grey sweater with shawl neck. He went closer, unintentionally quiet, passing by the table ready with two mugs, butter, jelly, juice and a fruit bowl, and placed his hands on Castiel's waist. He startled for a second but then relaxed when he realized who was behind him and continued making coffee.

Balthazar gave a small chuckle. "Smart," he commented with a smirk.

Castiel didn't know what his lover was referring to, but Balthazar gave him a hint. He brushed his nose along Castiel's neck, identifying the nice scent of the shower gel, and then kissed the soft skin under the collar of the sweater where laid one of the lovemaking marks.

"It's just for precaution," Castiel replied. If their parents were displeased with their abnormal activities, then it was better hide the evidences.

Two slices of hot bread jumped from the toaster, Castiel took them out to a plate and then handed it to Balthazar. Balthazar smiled, "Thanks." He should have expected it; Castiel wasn't making breakfast only for himself, he was making it for everyone. It was 9am and their parents should be waking up soon.

Balthazar sat at the table and Castiel joined him, bringing a bowl with natural yogurt mixed with cereals and sliced fruit for himself. They started eating while they talked and occasionally shared light touches and kisses.

"Good morning, sweethearts." Mary came in with the usual warm smile on her face.

Castiel and Balthazar looked at their mother, who was wearing a white nightdress and a matching robe, and it took them a moment to reply. "Good morning," they replied at the same time, showing a little smile.

"You got up early," Mary commented, since she and John usually woke up first.

"Yes…" Castiel agreed, but didn't offer any sort of explanation. Watching his mother walking to the countertop, he added, "I already made coffee."

"Oh, thank you, dear." Mary took a mug from the table and filled it with the hot coffee and some sugar. She put slices of bread on the toaster and returned to the table, spinning the spoon to melt the sugar on the dark drink. She sat in front of them.

There was nothing strange, nothing unusual in their mother's behavior. Wasn't she the one that entered his room last night? Didn't she know? Perhaps she just wasn't going to mention it. _Good_, Balthazar sighed softly in relief.

"How was the dinner yesterday?" Balthazar felt at ease to ask, since they usually shared what they had done at meals.

"It was very nice. I hadn't seen Gwen and Christian in years. We kept talking until past midnight. It seemed like we were teenagers again." Mary shared with a fond smile that spread to her sons faces. After a while, she asked "What about you?" Castiel and Balthazar's smile faded. "Did you have a nice evening?"

They were even more taken aback when they noticed the knowing look their mother was sending. There were a few second of silence; neither Castiel nor Balthazar knew what to say. "Yes," Castiel answered at last in a weak and insecure voice.

They heard the sound of the toasts jumping. Mary got up and went to the countertop with an unreadable face that made Castiel feel very uncomfortable. He also stood up from the chair quickly. "Mom, I-" He started with a strong voice, but then, what was he going to say?

Mary turned back to her younger son. "Cas, it's alright." She took a step toward him. "I don't mean to interfere in your intimate life, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She looked at Castiel and then to Balthazar.

"We are," Balthazar agreed in a soft voice, almost automatic.

"And that's what matters," Mary concluded in her sweet voice. Then she turned around and took out the toasts.

"Mom," Balthazar called her. When she turned to him, Balthazar wrapped his arms around her. "You're amazing."

Castiel came closer and hugged her too. "We love you," he said with a big smile, matching Balthazar's.

Mary held her sons tight and kissed their foreheads. "I love you too, my darlings."

"What's going on here?" John appeared at the entrance in dark blue pajamas. "A family hug and no one invites me?" He walked closer with a fond smile.

"You don't need invitation," Mary told her beloved husband.

John kissed her lovingly and ruffled his sons' hair before embrace them with his arms.

The Campbell family wasn't perfect, no family is, but they loved each other and were happy together.


End file.
